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I Had A Threesome With My Big

Daddy Issues

I have never felt the need to defend my sexual activities or preferences until somewhat recently. I am a very sexually open-minded. For me, as long as I am attracted to the person or people I’m about to engage in sex with, everyone is consenting, and no one is in a relationship (to the best of my knowledge), I’ll more or less try anything once. I like sex and I like to experiment, but I won’t apologize for it and I won’t be made to feel bad about it.

In the fall semester, I had my first threesome. With my big. To say it was scandalous when people found out is an understatement. I had a friend on exec and right after the meeting when everyone found out, she called me and told me to be on my best behavior. She told me that exec, but mostly the advisors were pissed about what we did, and pissed that people were finding out about it, and that they wanted to try to find reasons to give us Standards meetings. Well, I was fucked. I knew it was only matter of time before I got sent to standards, especially with one of our date functions right around the corner.

I had resigned myself to having an uncomfortable standards meeting a few weeks later when the email finally came. I pregamed a little and pep-talked myself not to laugh when my advisor undoubtedly brought up the threesome, because apparently they don’t like that too much. What I had not anticipated is my bitchy advisor insulting me and my father along the way. When she said, “I don’t know what ballet recitals your father missed when you were younger to make you act out in such a way,” I lost it. First of all, I played soccer, not ballet. Secondly, and most importantly, my father was quite possibly the best father in the game. He trained me, came to every soccer game, science fair, debate, and anything I was involved in. He raised me to be strong and to not take shit from anyone. He raised me not to need a man and to not settle. He raised me to go after what I wanted and to be unapologetic in all the success I had, because I fucking earned it.

My dad was, and still is, my best friend, I talk to him almost every day, and whenever I’m home, we always go and see movies together, get dinner, or go shooting. The fact that an uppity, old bitch thought she knew me and my family because she disagreed with some choices I made continues to infuriate me. She wanted me to feel remorseful and embarrassed that I had a threesome, but I’m not. She wanted to label me as having daddy issues because of my “sexual looseness,” but I don’t. Sex is a big part of my life, mostly because it’s fucking fun, but it does not define me. What defines me is my intellect, my drive, my loyalty, and my commitment to family. I refuse to fall victim to easy stereotypes of having daddy issues because I like sex, and anyone that tries, will be put in their place real fucking quick.

On a side note, that advisor no longer advises for my chapter. Karma may be a bitch, but I’m an even bigger one.

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ChampagneShowers

Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at: champagne_showers@outlook.com

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