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I Never Realized How Much Everyone From High School Sucks Until I Went To College

I Never Realized How Much Everyone From High School Sucks Until I Went To College

A lot of kids hate winter break because its “boring.” And okay, yes it is boring, but our livers need a break every once in awhile. The real reason winter break sucks is objectively because of the people in our hometowns. Let me break down the most annoying people you usually will encounter in your hometown: people from high school.

Guys From Your High School Who DM You
Usually males who didn’t give you the time of day in high school, this breed will slide into your DMs — any of your DMs, to indicate some type of faux interest, because they’ve already plowed through their entire high school crew by mid-junior year.

“Hey, what’s new?”

Uh… what’s new? What is old? We have never talked. What are you even doing? Am I finally cool enough for you? The first time this happened, I thought it was an isolated case, but it happened again, and again, and it happened to most of my friends at their high schools too. It’s not that the attention isn’t nice, it’s just so transparent. The high school caste system no longer applies, so to him this means he can now try to bone outside his squad. To me this means your “status” no longer makes you seem cool, and I need a little more than being unfollowed and refollowed repeatedly on ever social outlet to pay attention to you now.

Kids Who Peaked In High School
I’m friends with a few of these guys on Snapchat and while they’re usually tolerable, during winter break they peak all over again. I’ll see stories of them with like 60 of their “close” friends in someone’s basement. WHY?! This isn’t cool any more. The rest of us have spent the semester partying in frat basements, which sounds worse, but is actually better than anywhere that parents exist. I thought there was an unwritten rule that high school parties ended with high school. I swear, some of these kids will be 22, legal, and still smuggling raspberry Smirnoff into their parents’ houses, while Jenny gives Nick an OTPHJ on the couch in the corner. You can quote me on this.

Current High Schoolers
Maybe it’s just me, but are high schoolers getting increasingly terrible? It’s threatening. I will go to Starbucks at the crack of dawn at 11 am to get a black iced coffee and I don’t look my best since I haven’t had my coffee. Then I see these high school bitches giving me weird looks while drinking double mocha-matcha frappucinos with like full makeup and wearing JEANS. Why are they wearing jeans? Who are they trying to impress? Calm down. Do less. Go trade in your lace-up tops and Kylie lip kits that for some reason you find appropriate to wear to a suburban Starbucks hella early and go buy some UGGs and Blistex. It’s tradition. Or at least stop giving me weird looks. This is your future. Wearing oversized t-shirts and Nike pro leggings at 11 AM with your hair up and last night’s makeup on is what a true “daytime look” is. So get used to it.

Image via Shutterstock

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tmarcs

I grew up ugly so I decided to be funny instead.

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