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I Only Date Younger Guys

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A cougar is defined by most as an older woman dating a younger man. Usually, the age gap for a real “cougar” is way larger than most (I’m talking about 40-year-old women dating 25-year-old men here). But once it gets that far there is always the confusing designation between cougar and sugar momma. But anyway, that’s beside the point. I have been called a cougar (and a “cradle robber”) a lot in my short 22 years and it wasn’t until now that I realized, I am a cougar and I don’t even try to be (it also clearly isn’t the path I should be taking but hey, you do with what you got).

Now, it’s not like I go out and ask every guy I talk to how old they are and then immediately drop them if they’re older. I guess I just naturally gravitate towards the younger dicks of the universe (and when I say younger I mean within the age range of 18-20). No matter how many times I forcibly try to make my legs walk away from the freshmen and sophomores of my college campus, I always seem to find myself drunkenly stumbling (or crawling) my way into their beds every night.

Not only do I sleep with guys who are younger than me, I also date younger guys long-term. This is probably the worst thing. Clearly I never learn my lessons from past situations with these dudes and no matter how many times I sit with my best friends and say “OMG why did I date that guy? Please never let me date a younger fucking dude again,” here I am bringing home another young and naive mother fucker who loves the fact that an older girl is hooking up with them. It’s a great ego-booster for guys when they fuck older chicks, but what does it say about me, exactly? That I can’t get guys my own age? Wrong. I totally can and I have (a very select few). I obviously just have some kind of mental block in my head that blurs my vision towards any guy that is my age or older. It’s kinda the worst but, I digress.

From my experience, I have learned that younger guys are not ideal if you want to plan a future, have serious conversations about life (or being serious about anything) or being mature when needed. My ex was almost 2 years younger than me and we were planning a “future” together. Even though I was 100 percent serious about it, I think he just acted like he was and agreed just so I wouldn’t deprive him of sex for not being serious and talking to me. But I don’t blame him; we were in different places in our lives. I was planning my future after graduation and he was still adjusting to college life. I had “been there, done that” already and he was just beginning.

It’s also true that guys do not mature nearly as fast as women do. So even if you are the same age, he still may not be as mature as you, but it is different when they are already 2+ years younger than you. It’s hard for younger guys to be on the same level with you about “planning a future” when they are lightyears away from your level of maturity. It also sucks doing parts of your life separate from your younger significant other. You graduate and get a real life and you have to watch him live his best years and be super jealous because you are a fucking adult and being a fucking adult sucks. You kinda put your life on hold so you can wait for them to get to your level.

Sleeping with younger guys isn’t as bad as dating them but it can still be the fucking worst. Sometimes they get attached or clingy and sometimes they act like complete dicks. It’s a 50/50 shot (sometimes you can find one that is neither and he makes great FWB material). Don’t get me wrong, some of my best sexual experiences were with guys who were younger than me but again, they were kinda immature and extra douchey (especially because they are going through that whole “I just got to college and wanna fuck everyone and everything and I want to get hammered every day”).

There are some perks to dating/fucking younger men, but in my opinion, they don’t outweigh the awfulness of any of it. One thing in particular is that they make you feel great about yourself. They kinda let you let your hair down a little extra and act like you’re a college freshman again, and it can be somewhat refreshing. They are also great if you aren’t looking for something totally serious (AKA, if you just want a fuck boy to fuck). They make you feel hot. They have a sea of girls their age who wanna do the same shit as them but they chose you — an older, sophisticated classy lady (during the week, LOL). That’s gotta make you feel hella sexy, right?

But alas, clearly I am on a doomed track going straight towards the “Cougar Club” and that’s okay. Maybe my brain will re-wire itself and help me out a bit so I can stop making the same mistakes over and over. Until then I will just accept my current fate and make it fun — I’m still young anyway.

And when I’m 40 and dating a 25-year-old, hopefully I’ll be loaded and having him make me margaritas on a boat. Cross your fingers for me.

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awyland

I'm Ashley and I get wine drunk by myself more than I should, eat my weight in tacos and make bad choices. I'm a ball at parties and only slightly embarrassing. Enjoy the shit I write. xoxo.

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