I Should Have Dated My Guy Best Friend


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Best frat friend

About a month ago, a TSM article was published called “Why Every Sorority Girl Needs a Frat Best Friend” and like many other sorority girls, I tagged my “frat best friend” in it. A day later, another article was posted of a fraternity man’s response to the article as the “frat best friend.” I read the article and I felt for the guy. And as I kept reading, the more and more I thought about my friend and wondered how he felt. As weeks went on, I kept wondering if he was the person I should have dated.

It all started about a year ago. I met the most wonderful gentleman and fell head over heels for this guy. He held doors open for me, bought me flowers, paid for every date (big or small), plus my friends and family loved him. A few months later, I met the guy who is now my best guy friend. Admittedly I thought he was cute, but I was already in a relationship with the perfect guy. And despite my little crush, I knew that I would never do anything to screw up my relationship. We hit it off right away and instantly grew close.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I was still with my boyfriend and things were still great. Or so I thought. Then one night, my fairytale came to a sad and unexpected ending. My boyfriend broke up with me out of the clear blue. He said he hadn’t felt the same about us for about a month or so. I was insulted that the person I dated for almost a year couldn’t be open and honest with me. I was more than heartbroken. I laid on the floor sobbing, never having felt more alone in my life. And of course, the first person I called was my best guy friend.

He immediately dropped what he was doing and came rushing to my side to comfort me. He was as shocked as I was. He continued to offer me words of encouragement. For the rest of that week, he checked in on me every day to make sure I was okay. He even walked me to class in case I ran into my ex, so I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown. He made it known to me multiple times that he would always be there for me no matter what, day or night and that all he wanted for me was to be genuinely happy.

After a month of misery, I was finally starting to feel normal again. I was sitting in the living room, deciding what to do for the evening and scrolling through my phone. While everyone was at the bar, my roommates and I decided to have a “casual” wine night. I texted my best guy friend to come over if he wanted to, even though it was a pretty boring night. He immediately left the bar and came over. We kept drinking a bit and one by one my roommates went to bed. Finally, it was just me and him huddled on the couch, giggling and drinking. We continued to watch whatever was on TV and talk about life, casually moving closer and closer to each other. It was simple. Easy. Effortless. One second I’m watching a commercial for McDonalds, and the next second, we were kissing.

As weird as I thought it would be to kiss my best friend, it was pretty great. After a minute, I stopped since we were both drunk. My head was spinning and my heart was racing as the echo of his kiss tickled my lips. I muttered that this was something we needed to talk about soberly, and hastily went to bed. The next morning he came over to talk, and I asked him how he felt. He admitted that he has had a crush on me ever since we met, but would never do anything to jeopardize my relationship. He said that even though I was single now, he was still happy as just friends if that’s what I wanted. Admitting that it was still too soon for me to jump into something, we did what any two friends would do after they kissed. Agreed to never talk about it again.

But of course, I had to tell my best friend and my little and they both had the same reaction: “I knew there was something there!” How could everyone else have seen it but not me? His brothers would always give him crap for having this crush on me, but he would shoot it down immediately saying that we were best friends.

As weeks went on, it really was like nothing had ever happened. But I couldn’t help myself from thinking about it. And then it started to make sense when I thought about our friendship the past year. When my ex would be out with all of his brothers or at a social, I would always hang out with my guy friend. He was the person I went to for everything. When I fought with my ex, I would always text, call, or go over to his place and talk about it. He gave me advice. He gave me hugs. And he would drop whatever it was he was doing to be there for me. He bought numerous drinks for me and would never allow me to pay him back. He opened up to me about life, girls, and personal issues that he didn’t tell anyone else. Even on my twenty-first birthday, he was the one who paid for my cab and then carried me to my boyfriend’s (who was not able to pick me up from the bar) door. He was the person who was always there for me when my ex wasn’t. It all started to become clear how much my friend cared for me.

I hated myself for not seeing it sooner. I felt like I wasted a year of my life with a guy who only cared sometimes when maybe the right guy was right next to me all along.

As we’ve both moved on, I sometimes can’t help but think back to the day he told me he liked me. Before he left he said that this was something to possibly put on the back burner, but he understood that it couldn’t happen anytime soon. I had sadly nodded my head in agreement and said that I felt the same way. As he was leaving he gave me a hug and we could both tell that neither one of us wanted to let go. The more time passes, the more I wonder if my chance with him has gone too.

As I see him flirt with other girls and drift further from me, the more I realize that he might have been Mr. Perfect all along. And I might just be too late.

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