I Started Parting My Hair Down The Middle And Now I Think I’m Important


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Over the weekend, something magical happened to me. No, I didn’t lock eyes with a handsome stranger and fall madly in love. It was something so much better.

It was a cold Saturday night, and I was running later than usual. After struggling to put my contacts in, I straightened my hair into a low pony, grabbed a long sleeve black dress out of my closet that was probably too thin for the weather, and topped it off with my biggest, gaudiest fur coat (Faux, inexpensive, and from Target, of course). To complete this young Cruella DeVille look, I added a probably not blended out enough contour and a pair of subtle drug store lashes. A look Ru Paul would surely be proud of.

Beyond ready to get to the bars with a free drink in hand, I stumbled through the gravel in heels to my friend’s house. I was greeted with horrific news. “We need to make a quick stop by a house party before we head out.” At 11:00 PM, a house party could only mean one thing: a packed living room full of people who were sloppy and underage. While all of that is fine and dandy, that is not a territory you want to enter while completely sober. It’s quite terrifying actually.

But as I opened the door and entered the unusually humid room, something was different. Instead of wanting to crawl back into my shell like a sad, sober hermit crab, I felt something foreign. Was this, dare I say it, confidence? This couldn’t be. Not a sip of whatever plastic bottle liquor was available there had even touched my lips. What made tonight so different?

It was… my middle part. After wearing my hair in a bun for longer than I can remember, my hair was stuck in limbo. After much deliberation I had decided on the trendy middle part that had once haunted my middle school dance memories. Once styled correctly, my middle part had magical powers. It was as if I was possessed by the Olsen twins, and they were instructing me only to photograph with a frozen tight soft smirk.

The middle part has continued to change my life. I walk a little taller, eat a little healthier, and dress a little better. I’ve been informed that guys don’t care for this hairstyle, but the powers of the middle part have proven that wrong time and time again. The world is a better place. You too, can pretend to be a NYFW model, strutting around town with a new outlook on life. Let it change your life like it has mine.

Image via YouTube


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