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I Watched Virtual Reality Porn And It Was Horrible

VR

“What’s this?” I asked innocently, holding up with weird looking goggles that were lying on my FWB bed.

“They’re virtual reality glasses!” He answered, a little too excitedly.

Of course he had tech toys, he was a total computer nerd. Personally, I had zero interest in his latest toy. But as he eagerly asked where I would like to go, I decided to indulge him. He “took” me to Paris, to Egypt, and even to outer space. I had to admit that the glasses were pretty cool, but I was starting to get bored.

Sure it was cool to look at 360 CGI, but at the end of the day, it felt like looking at 360 CGI. Maybe if I could interact with the surroundings it would be more intriguing. I asked what the most interesting or interactive “place” to visit with the goggles was and he started to blush.

“Well, it’s not really a place…” he stammered.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s porn available on there.”

“As in, you’re watching or participating.”

“You’re the guy.”

“And…you watch that? To get off?” I asked incredulously, staring at the dorky looking goggles.

A slow, sly smile spread across his lips as he explained that no, he did not watch it to get off (lies, all lies). He did, however, watch it in the living room with his roommates. Some sort of fucked up bonding experience. Frat boys, I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. What was it about them and porn? Especially this house, as this was not the first porn-related incident I had walked in on.

“Do you want to see?” he asked me eagerly, his eyes flashed with some excitement.

Uh, did I? I had watched porn before, sure. I have also watched porn with a boyfriend before. I didn’t really enjoy it, but I was open. But this? Only one person could wear the goggles at a time. Did that mean I was supposed to describe what was happening? Was he going to watch me watch it?

Noticing my hesitation, he quickly assured me that it wasn’t some sort of sex act. He just thought that it was funny and I, someone who loves to joke about sex, would enjoy it. Almost immediately after nodding my head, I regretted my decision. He fit the goggles back around my eyes and it began.

I looked down to discover that I had transformed into a porn star. A ripped porn star. With tribal chest tattoos. I looked like I belonged on the Jersey Shore. I looked around to take in my surroundings and discovered I was in a room on a couch. To my left sat another ripped porn star. Amazing. Even in this virtual reality, guys still enjoyed their porn together.

Three girls walked into the room, two blondes and one brunette. One of the blondes badly started to seduce me, while the brunette started dancing for the man next to me. The other blonde passed by us and I hoped, sincerely, that she walked off the set and decided to never fuck another Pauly D looking try-hard again. I kept my focus on the girl in front of me. She was pretty, but I was doing everything I could to avoid eye contact with her. Which was hard because she, and her nipples, were staring directly at me.

I saw my arm reach out for her, but being unable to interact, I nervously prayed I wouldn’t have to watch myself violate the poor girl. Instead, he/I grabbed the back of her head and pushed her head towards my unrealistically sized penis. Great, so this is what it looks like from the eyes of a douchebag.

“Look behind you.” I heard my FWB call out, temporarily distracting me from the all-consuming fake scene around me.

Maybe he noticed the look of sadness on my face from watching this poor girl choke me down. Maybe he could tell I was self-conscious knowing that this was how I was supposed to look like this to him, and I know I could never achieve that level of sexy. Or maybe he was over my expression of pure disgust as I noticed the other male performer and myself fist bumping.

Cautiously, I turned around. There it was. The other blonde girl, the one who I had hoped had escaped from this room. She hadn’t left. I stared in horror as she sprawled across the floor, ferociously pleasuring herself to the scene in front of her.

“What the fuck?!” I screamed, throwing off the goggles.

“What did you think?” he asked, trying to unsuccessfully to hide his laughter.

“You’re sick!” I snarled, “I can’t believe you watch that!”

“I don’t!” he chuckled, pulling me towards him, “I prefer the real thing,” he whispered before gently kissing me.

I let him push me down on the bed and tried desperately to focus on real life instead of his porn. I snarled again as the image of the blonde turning her own body into a glove flashed in my mind. But, as his lips made his way down my stomach and I caught a tongue, I decided to let it go. After all, porn is natural, even if this one was a little too real for me.

Image via Shutterstock

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Blue-eyed-blondie

Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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