If Characters From “Harry Potter” Were Sorority Girls


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Harry potter

The drama. The hormones. The fighting of evil forces (hello, standards). Harry Potter is pretty much like a sorority already. Between all living in a giant castle, being sorted into different houses, and growing up with each other, the kids at Hogwarts basically have letters on them already. And if you really think about it, there are each of the main characters in every single on of our chapters. Magical, huh?

Harry Potter


The face of your chapter, the Harry Potter is the girl literally everyone knows. She’s a major legacy and totally involved in the chapter. But her bomb connections and Greek fame didn’t make her want to be president or even have a top exec position. Sure, she might chair a few things, but she’s more likely to be the girl making sarcastic jokes during chapter, winning you trophies in literally any competition, and charming the socks off of the advisors than cracking down on rules. She’s got some haters, but it’s only because they ain’t her. Despite her sometimes bitchy ways, she means well as long as you don’t cross her. Between her impressive history, knack for coming out on top in everything, and being able to win over the best people, it doesn’t matter that she’s not the hottest girl in the chapter — because to almost everyone, she’s totally the Chosen One.

Ron Weasley

The one who’s in with the top dogs, you’re not really sure how she did it. Maybe it was a coincidence that she befriended the cool girls in the pledge class, or maybe it was because she lived in house. Either way, she totally got her high ranked position in the chapter thanks to her connections, but she doesn’t exactly take it seriously. A bit awkward, she’s the girl who tries to do everything everyone else is doing, but sometimes falls up short. Luckily she has a good sense of humor, and even though she sometimes gets down about not being the best in the chapter, she always manages to have a somewhat positive attitude and good outlook. Despite the fact that she’s not the coolest or prettiest, she manages to pull relatively hot guys, has the best friends, and gets tons of recognition. Can’t hate on that, muggles.

Hermione Granger

The ultimate HBIC, the Hermione is the girl who keeps the chapter together. Maybe she’s president, maybe she’s another high up position in the chapter. Either way, she does most of the work of the rest of the board as well as her own. Extremely organized and punctual, she keeps everything running smoothly and makes sure every event is executed flawlessly. While she’s not afraid to send someone to standards, she isn’t a total wet blanket. Though she doesn’t love it, she makes sure the test bank is always well stocked, and she’ll call someone from a rival sorority out when they’re being a total C U Next Tuesday. Sure, she’s makes you treat the PNMs with the utmosts respect (don’t dirty rush them, ladies!), but despite her type A ways, she’ll still let her hair down and chug back some butterbeers with her cool, slightly more rebellious friends.

Fred/George Weasley

The Fred and George of your sorority are the heart and laughter of your chapter and standard’s worst nightmare. When they actually show up to chapter they’re in the back, making jokes and texting boys on their phone. While they might not be the most “classy” of sorority girls, there’s a clear reason why they’re here — they’re fun. When they aren’t busy making everyone laugh and feel at ease, they’re stepping up to do whatever embarrassing philanthropy thing no one is brave enough to do (date auction, cupcake eating competition, flip cup) and getting in with the best frats. They can get away with anything, including those awesome pregames that are totally against the bylaws. You’d hate on them if they weren’t so damn likable. And even though they aren’t helping the chapter’s GPA average, you know that whatever they do after college, they’ll totally kill due to their impressive network of people, not-too-shabby looks, and ability to con almost anyone into anything. Takes notes from these girls, ladies. They’re the ones who run the world.

Luna Lovegood

The wildcard of the chapter, you’re not 100 percent sure how she slipped through the cracks during recruitment. It must have been due to her dazzling good looks and her general air of sweetness. Besides, you figured the more blondes, the better. As she got more and more comfortable with the chapter, however, she started letting her weirdness show. She’ll show up to events, but she’ll be lurking in the corner, busy reading Twilight fan fiction or insisting that her horoscope is real. You try to keep her away from PNMs because you’re afraid they’ll avoid the chapter because of her. The longer you get to know her, however, you realize that her weirdness is kind of cool, and her fierce loyalty and ability to think on her feet when headquarters does a random inspection makes you see why she’s a great sister to have.

Ginny Weasley

When the Ginny joined, she was pretty shy and timid. Everyone knew she was picked mostly because she was a legacy and partly because she was hot. As time when on and she grew more confident in herself, she quickly became one of the uh, sluttiest most friendly girls in the chapter. In no way ashamed of doing a frat lap or five, she’s a total feminist and is ready to step up and help those in need. She’s one of the few who actually does their service hours and she isn’t above befriending GDIs. Still, her humor, impressive intramural skills, and ability to hang with the guys makes her the girl to know. While she won’t hug you and squeal about the Kardashians, she will be down to put a jealous girl in her place or stand up for you against standards. And even though she had her slutty phase, she’ll still manage to get the guy, despite friend zoneing him for years. Some girls just have it all, don’t they?

Neville Longbottom

Coming into the chapter, the Neville had so much potential. Maybe her older sister was a total superstar in the chapter. Or maybe her parents basically funded the entire upper story of your house. Whatever it is, everyone was stoked to win her over on Bid Day. But after that? She sort of seemed like a dud. Showing up to chapter either high or distracted, she was constantly late, forgetful, or else talking about the benefits of different strands of “plants.” But then, just before you completely gave up hope on her and prayed she wouldn’t come back for senior year, she totally surprised you. She arrived for fall totally cool, totally with it, and totally hot. Not only that, she seemed to grow self-confidence and pride, and is ready to make your chapter the best, and defend it until the day she dies. For some people, it just takes a little time to understand what the letters really mean.

Percy Weasley


Percy is the legacy who somehow went wrong. Despite her stellar family and amazing potential, things didn’t go great with her. She started out promising and seemed to fit right in. But as time went on and she slowly got more and more positions, the power completely went to her head. Eventually, she either disappeared from the chapter for a while or went completely inactive. In that time, she talked ill of Greek life while choosing to get involved in something else totally political, like SGA, or underwater basket weaving. Despite her distance, your chapter really needs her, she might come back to help. Don’t hold your breath, though.
Moral: There’s one in every chapter.

Draco Malfoy

Maybe she rushed your chapter then dropped before initiation. Maybe she’s jealous. Maybe she’s just always hated you. Whatever is it, this bitch is the definition of Greek rivalry. Thanks to her, you detest her entire chapter. If a guy hangs out with them, he’s dead to you. In every competition, you make it your soul mission to beat her chapter. Every time you cross paths, you can’t help but to send death glares to each other. Despite your unlike of her, you make it your goal to know exactly what, and who, she’s doing to ensure your life is constantly better than hers. Sure she looks like every other sorority girl, but you know that truth — she’s a devil in another sorority’s letters.

Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle


Your rival’s friends, the Crabbes and Goyles are the unfortunate girls who get the remnants of your hatred. Chances are they’re actually decent people. Maybe. But considering who they’re friends with, you just can’t help but hate them almost as much as you hate your Malfoy. You know anything they find out, they’ll tell her, making them very dangerous people to be around. Despite their blank expressions and seemly airheadedness, you have to tread carefully — these bitches aren’t afraid to pull out some extensions and turn you in for dancing on a table or going out when your chapter is dry.

See? Wizards. They’re just like us!

To read, “If Characters From “Gossip Girl” Were Sorority Girls” click here. and to read “If Characters From “The Office” Were Sorority Girls” click here.

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(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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