If Dr. Seuss Characters Were Sorority Girls


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Nice Move

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For me, I took Dr. Seuss books over Junie B. Jones any day. I loved each book, and can still quote “The Lorax” to this day. Now however, I can see a strong correlation between sorority girls and some of the Dr. Seuss characters.

“Cat in the Hat”: The Cat in the Hat is the president of your sorority. She’s the head bitch in charge and she knows she’s the shit. This girl leads her sorority with pride and strength that only the prez can. She’s the leader of the pack and guides her girls to be the best while still being able to have fun.

“Thing One and Thing Two”: These two were the big/little pairing made in heaven. They meet during rush and became a pair almost right away. When listing their big/little preferences these two only put each others names. At reveal it was no surprise that they got each other, and at meetings you can often find them in the corner focusing on each other excluding everyone else. After all, it’s not their fault that they’re #soulsisters.

“The Orange Goldfish”: Meet your standards chair. She’s the house mother’s informant which you know really means she’ll rat you out in a heartbeat. The only one who likes her is the Cat, and really that’s just because she can secretly make fun of her. True, every sorority needs an orange goldfish, but she doesn’t need to be constantly reminding everyone not to get too wasted at the frat party. I mean you’re only in college once, right?

“The Grinch”: Maybe this girl was a legacy who wouldn’t have joined unless mom highly encouraged it. Maybe she really did enjoy Greek life, but then her schedule became busy because she’s pre-law. Whatever the reason, this girl does not want to be bothered with the fun sorority lifestyle. Her favorite time is rush week, and that’s only because her fellow sisters are finally as miserable as she is. When the time comes, she may meet a sister that finally makes her smile. Maybe.

“Cindy Lou Who”: Meet your brand new member. She couldn’t be more excited to finally be at college and she wears her letters every chance she gets. At 18, this girl is young, beautiful, and innocent but don’t be surprised when she turns up at the frat houses later. She may eventually win fraternity sweetheart, but that’s only after she collects a hell of a lot of shack shirts.

“The Lorax”: Meet your environmentally conscious stoner sorority girl. She speaks for the trees, or the trees speak to her depending on how much she’s smoked that night. This girl may be your philanthropy chair but only if she can convince the girls to do their community service hours in the community giving garden. This girl may seem a bit out of the box but she is one groovy chick and will always stand up for your sorority.

I would be the Lorax, and not just because I’m really chill but because I have a tattoo of a truffula tree on my ankle that says, “unless.” But that’s a story for another time.

Image via YouTube


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