If You Do Any Of These Things During Recruitment, Expect To Be Dropped


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Nice Move


If a PNM ever told me during recruitment that her main hobby was collecting different species of snails and that she is wearing a pasta strainer on her head in her drivers license photo there’s a 12/10 chance that I’d score the poor girl straight zeros and call it a day. This being said, just because a PNM has a strange obsession with mollusks and is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, that is actually a thing) doesn’t mean that she couldn’t find her home in another sorority.

There are a lot of strange things that PNMs will do and say during recruitment that might serve as red flags that they might not be a perfect match for your house, but that doesn’t mean she won’t fit in elsewhere. That being said, there are certain things that if done, will get a PNM cut regardless of what house’s party she’s at.

1. Talking Shit About Your Friends
Every sorority has a different reputation. There’s the bitchy hot girl sorority, the cheerleader sorority, the “smart girl” sorority, and the sorority that your grandmother would feel comfortable spending Friday night’s having out with. Every house has a different rep but all houses have one thing in common: sisterhood. If you tell stories of getting revenge on your high school friends and/or real life sister, it’s time to pack up your breath mints and coffee filters and head for the door. A sorority is not the organization for you.

2. Wearing Jean Anything
Although at times, recruitment may be hectic as hell, it is in no way a fucking rodeo. I don’t care if you go to school in the middle of hick-town Texas. Save the bedazzled Miss Me jeans and matching vest for your cousin’s (read: boyfriend’s) Cattle showing competition. Recruitment is different everywhere, but unless your school specifically insists you wear jeans, don’t. Recruitment is a chance for you to tastefully show off your style in a timelessly classy way. Don’t make it casual.

3. Having Party Pics On Social Media
I get it. It’s annoying that we can’t post party pics, but those are the rules. Delete any and all party pics on any social media, even if you’re private. If you’re rushing this fall, they probably should’ve been deleted by now. If you aren’t down for this, then you should probably drop out of recruitment before it begins because you will not find a home. If your Instagram and/or Facebook is flooded with pics of you taking bong rip and shotgunning beers, you might be better suited to find a posse in the county jail. Although sorority girls are notorious for having a damn good time, they are also known for getting their shit together when they need to, getting good grades, and being boss ass bitches, at least in public.

4. Looking Bored
You’d probably stop reading this if I tried to claim resting bitch face wasn’t an actual thing. Resting bored face however ACTUALLY is not. It doesn’t matter if you are in your first choice house’s party or are in a house that you would rather poke yourself in the eye with a fork than pledge, acting respectful is a must. You can be dropped for looking bored and acting disrespectful at some schools. Every girl in every house has a friend or acquaintance in another sorority. If you are disrespectful to the girl rushing you in your least favorite house, there is always a chance that word will spread to your favorite house that you’re a fucking pain in the ass. Although every house is different, at the end of the day we are all Greek and us sorority bitches gotta stick together.

5. Name Dropping A Sister’s Boyfriend
This might seem like a good idea in the moment but be forewarned: it is not. Name dropping sisters in the house or even outside friends of the girl who’s rushing you might score you some extra brownie points but name dropping boyfriends and/or significant others is never a god idea. Whether it’s true or not, the girl rushing you’s first assumption is going to be that you did the dirty with someone’s man and that’s kind of a downer.

6. Cursing
If you are this far into reading this you’ve probably figured out that I have quite the sailor’s mouth. I have quite a colorful vocabulary and an even more colorful mind specifically when it comes to making up obscure euphemisms for the word “sex.” The boring bitches of the world may think I have a potty mouth but that’s just too fucking bad and they will have to get the fuck over it. With the exception of recruitment. If anyone so much as mumbled any of the words starting with A, B, C, D, F or S in front of me during rush I would have the same reaction as your grandmother if the damn bitch had screamed the word at the Christmas dinner table. Save the word fuck for when you spill your Starbucks down your dress on your drive to the row because if you use it after that, sorry, you’re getting cut.

The most important thing to remember during recruitment is to be yourself… but hide your flaws. If you’re a party girl, that’s okay, you’re going to fit in well with at least a few chapters. If you have a sailor’s mouth like me, keep that shit on lock until after you sign your bid card. Your sisters want to see the best version of yourself during recruitment, and as long as you don’t do any of the six things above, you should be fine.

Good luck!

My life is pretty much one big awkward embarrassing moment. Dream-self is a cross between Amy Schumer and Serena Van der Woodsen. I like LITs a little too much and am standards board's worst nightmare. If you don't party on Tuesdays then what's the point of college..? Feel free to email me funny stories and Memes because I love to laugh and there's a chance I might be able to make you laugh too. blondeboozy@gmail.com xo

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