I’d like to take a moment to address a serious, universal problem. Too many people change for the worse, the moment they officially acquire the elusive title, “girlfriend.” I had a serious boyfriend for three years, so I know some level of alteration is natural when you’re in a relationship, so don’t take this as criticism. Think of it as informed observation: you’re starting to suck. It’s an easy trap to fall in. You become secure because someone is constantly telling you how fabulous you are, and you become complacent. You go out less, pass on time with your best friends, and become comfortable enough to forget to hide the crazy. This is only how it starts.
The real problem surfaces when you start altering your life goals for a boyfriend. Unless you’re legally bound to him (and he to you, more importantly), planning your life around another person rarely works out the way you’d expect, especially in college. Trust me. First, alcohol combined with a lack of real responsibilities does not breed healthy relationships. Second, if you constantly talk about your life in relation to your boyfriend, you need to check yourself. Just the other day, a good friend of mine told me she’d be living in the center of campus next fall, a location within a close proximity to the sorority house, my house, her little’s house, Pinkberry, and all the bars and her only comment was “it’s just three blocks away from Joe!” Cool.
It’s just ridiculous to plan your life around a boy, when you should be too busy planning it around chapter meetings, class, happy hour, the gym, or hangovers that keep you bedridden until the late afternoon. Have a plan that’s bigger than him — bigger than your MRS. He may say he’d like to marry you someday, but until Daddy pays the caterers, he is NOT your husband. He’s a 20-something-year-old boy who’s drinks six days a week and makes you do his laundry on the seventh. Don’t assume you’ll never work a day in your life, and don’t pick a major that won’t help you to work a day in your life. Besides, guys appreciate intelligence anyway, especially in a life partner.
Even if you’d like to eventually be a stay-at-home mom, take some time to make something of yourself before you do, because your perfect guy might turn out to be a Warner Huntington III. You don’t want to count on that six-carat Harry Winston, when you’re with someone who might think your boobs are too big. Take some time, do your thing, and find Emmett Richmond.
For now, take some interest in yourself, even if you’re in a great relationship. Picture a possible future life without him, so you know you can do it if you need to. Spend quality time with the people who will undoubtedly be around forever — your friends. When you take an interest in yourself, people will take an interest in you and you will be even happier than you think you are, going home early with your boyfriend every Friday night. You might just decide to take advantage of like, the only time in life it can be socially preferable to be single. Unfortunately, these words may be lost on some of you. You may be blinded by love and think nothing will ever change that. If that’s the case I’ll still be there with a box of wine when he screws you over and I promise I’ll never say I told you so.