I am disgusted. I am outraged. I am truly offended. A sacred American staple is now being ripped from our hardworking patriotic hands. I’m talking about the one, the only, the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.
Take it for granted while you can, ladies and gents. Starting in 2016, those greedy CEOs over at Mickey D’s are starting their maniacal plan to phase out the dollar menu.
Step one of this evil plan begins with replacing the Dollar Menu. What are they replacing it with you ask? Something they like to call the “McPick 2” menu. Instead of spending one dollar on the item of your choice, you’ll now have to double your budget and be forced to buy two things. Heinous.
Step two of the evil plan involves a distraction factor. While they’re slowly taking us for all we have, they plan to unveil a new menu item so we’ll all forget. I call this “The Mozzarella Stick Scheme.” While we’re all raving about $2 mozzarella sticks, smiling about life, the evils are hard at work.
Step three is where the true madness begins. On February 8th McDonald’s will take away the “McPick 2” menu they oh so graciously got us all accustomed to, then leaving us with full price menu items!!!! They even have to gall to defend these actions.
McDonald’s spokesperson Lisa McComb:
“These new McPick 2 offers are just the start and are part of a broader value platform grounded in what our customers are looking for—choice and flexibility”
Screw the platform. I want my $1 McChicken..