The Lion King
After defeating Scar, Simba gets lured out of Pride Rock Wildlife Preserve and is killed by a dentist from Minnesota.
Cinderella
The prince never comes looking for Cinderella. She has to embarrassingly return to the castle’s lost and found box the next day to retrieve her glass slipper.
Aladdin
The sultan sticks to society’s rules and doesn’t let Aladdin marry his princess daughter because he is a low-class philistine untouchable.
One Hundred And One Dalmatians
Cruella DeVille succeeds in skinning the Dalmatians and making a coat out of their fur. It all ends up being for nothing when a PETA member throws a bucket of red paint on it.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
After a very invasive medical exam, Snow White finds out Doc isn’t a real doctor.
The Jungle Book
Mowgli gets the Timothy Treadwell treatment; is viciously eaten by a frenzied and ravenous Baloo.
Peter Pan
Peter gets put under arrest for the kidnapping of Wendy, John, and Michael Darling. He lives the rest of his life with the stigma that comes with being a pedophile.
Bambi
Like mother, like son.
Finding Nemo
The dentist, after noticing that Nemo’s right fin is deformed, decides to flush him down the toilet. Unlike in the movie, all drains don’t lead to the ocean. Nemo dies in a septic tank covered in shit and piss. Also, we learn that fish are food, not friends — Marlin gets eaten by a shark.
Sleeping Beauty
Word gets out that Prince Charming kissed Princess Aurora without getting consent first. He gets charged with sexual assault.
Beauty and the Beast
The “tale as old as time” ends with Beast getting institutionalized for schizophrenia (your teapot and candelabra can’t talk, dude) and Belle getting beheaded for bestiality.
Toy Story
Sid gets to Buzz before Woody can save him, smashing him into a billion little pieces with a ball-peen hammer. He then grows up and becomes a serial killer who viciously murders Andy’s entire family.
Inside Out
Riley gets medicated for her mental issues. All of the emotions in her head mellow out to the point where they become indistinguishable and she completely loses her sense of individuality.
The Little Mermaid
A Japanese whaling vessel harpoons Ariel and sells her meat on the black market, all in the name of “research.”
Image via dean bertoncelj / Shutterstock.com
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Jared Borislow
Jared Borislow (@DeVryGuy) is a writer and content manager for Total Frat Move. His goal in life is to be rewarded the key to the city of Flavortown.
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