Columns

I’m Not Entirely Convinced That Kylie Jenner Has Nipples

Whilst keeping up with the Kardashians via social media, I have noticed something recently. Besides the strange friendship between Jaden Smith and Kourtney, it has come to my attention that there is a strong possibility that Kylie Jenner does not have any nipples.

Now, it’s no secret that our girl Ky have gotten some work done, but who cares? If I had that kind of money, you best believe I’d do some, shall we say, redesigning. She has even admitted to getting work done on her lips, but the rest of her body has not been accounted for. Especially her nipples. Recently, she has been rocking tops with very thin straps, and there is no visible bra. It’s not just on Instagram that she is posting these pictures. They are on her Snapchat too. And Snapchat (unfortunately) can’t be Facetuned. So how does she keep her nipples a smooth little secret?

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Any girl who has worn a cami in her life knows all too well the very unforgiving silhouette that it gives you. You can see literally everything. But you know what’s less forgiving than cotton? Silk. Surely, a silk shirt would fully reveal anything that she’s hiding.

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

STILL NOTHING. Even the flattest of chicken cutlets would have shown some sort of outline. Well, it’s not like she wore a skin tight, white bodysuit in the shower and was still sans nipple.

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Oh wait, that’s exactly what she did. She has been using this lack of areola to her advantage. How else would she be able to pull off these scandalous looks?

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Let us, for a moment, entertain the idea that she has nipples. Just as a hypothetical situation. She, of all people, should know that nipples are hot. Nipples are in. Her sister Kendall has been rockin’ the nips for a while, so what makes Kylie think that she is above nipples? We all have them. So why doesn’t she? No really, why doesn’t she have nipples? Even in photos where her “nipples” are showing, it’s really not convincing.

mornings with @sashasamsonova

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

mornings with @sashasamsonova

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

If you look at the captions, they are both exactly the same. The same photographer took both of those photos, and they are the only discernible evidence that she has nipples. Is it possible that the two of them are working together to give the illusion that they exist? You can do anything with photoshop these days.

Now, I’m not here to say that she got them removed or was born without them or anything like that. I’m just presenting the facts. I am a Nipple Truther, and I will get to the bottom of this. Or in this case, the boobs of this.

Image via Instagram

Email this to a friend

Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

0 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More