In Defense Of Terrible Drivers: 20 Reasons Operating A Motor Vehicle Might Not Be Your Forte

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In Defense Of Terrible Drivers

1. You view side view mirrors as accessories. You don’t need to use one when your car has a rear view mirror, windows, and a sensor to prevent you from hitting something.

2. It’s hard to focus on the road if you’re texting.

3. Speed limits are just suggestions, much like “suggested alcohol intake.”

4. It’s difficult to be a “good driver” when you can’t even see over the dashboard.

5. SUVs are hard to park.

6. Pedestrians should watch out, they’re the ones who are always getting in the way.

7. If the radio, and your phone, and your friends weren’t in your car, I’m sure driving would be easy.

8. Sometimes you can’t resist the urge to tweet.

9. Instagram exists.

10. Focusing on your speed, staying in one lane, using turn signals, and ignoring other distractions is a lot to do at one time.

11. Parking spaces aren’t big enough. How the hell is anyone supposed to get in between those two lines?

12. Poor depth perception isn’t the reason you need to back up and pull up next to a pump multiple times, it’s the design of the gas station. Those pumps are impossible to get close to, and they were clearly built that way on purpose.

13. Hands-free calling is probably the most counterproductive feature ever installed in a car. How are you supposed to focus on the road if you’re talking on the phone, even if both of your hands are on the wheel?

14. Driving in heels is far more difficult than people would realize.

15. People who slow down at yellow lights are the same people who leave the party at 10:00PM.

16. Driving a stick is the second most annoying thing you can do with your hands.

17. Stop signs are placed so inconveniently.

18. Sometimes it takes longer than the duration of a red light to update your status or write on someone’s wall.

19. It’s difficult to worry about stopping at a safe distance from someone when Siri is being such a bitchy navigator.

20. In the words of the great Cher Horowitz: “Why would I need to learn how to parallel park? Everywhere you go has valet.”

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