It Doesn’t Matter If You Like Sports, You’re Annoying Either Way


Email this to a friend

Nice Move


Sports. Love ’em or hate ’em, they’re everywhere. They’re the biggest proponent of school spirit, your chapter is constantly being asked to join intramurals with other fraternities, and your boyfriend is obsessed with his fantasy league. The jerseys make cute costumes, the games are a reason to drink, and the men who play them make up some of the finest specimens to grace this planet. They’re also fun to play, fun to watch, and fun to argue about. Some girls know their way around the scoreboard while some couldn’t tell you the difference between SportsCenter and center field. Whether your love of sports is real, fake, or nonexistent, it’s also more annoying than freshmen who can’t handle their liquor. So let’s talk about how to avoid being every kind of annoying sports fan.

The Super Fan AKA The Know-It-All

You know your stuff. Whether you bleed your team’s colors or grew up playing the game you have a true appreciation for the sport that separates you from the typical fan.

Why You’re Annoying: Your love of your team can be all-consuming; it’s all you dream about, all you think about, and all you talk about. And we’re really tired of hearing you talk about it. We don’t need to be reminded every week of how excited you are to watch ‘your boys’ crush their opponent. We don’t doubt that you’re just as excited as ever. And while your love of sport might be as real as the love you have for your little, your obsession makes it look fake and like you’re overcompensating.

The Fix: Find another super fan so the two of you can obsess together without making the rest of the world wish you would shut up. When talking to the average person, less is more. Tone down the excitement. Talk about things other than sports for once. It’ll make you more fun to be around and you won’t look like such a tryhard.

The Casual Fan AKA The Bandwagon Rider

You follow a team when it’s convenient or interesting. You understand the game but just don’t get as excited as some other fans.

Why You’re Annoying: You don’t share the camaraderie of losses, but you expect to bask in the glory of victories. You often claim to be a true fan which makes the actual long time fans angrier than a standards chair on a Friday night. You come off looking two faced, and you sound like you’re only posting about the game for likes and attention, which in all honesty, you probably are.

The Fix: Own your bandwagon status. Be upfront about the fact that you don’t follow the games regularly and you’re only watching tonight because your boyfriend called dibs on the TV. You are most annoying when you hide the truth and try to pass yourself off as a hardcore fan. The more transparent you are in your lack of spirit and knowledge, the less annoying you’ll be.

The Ceiling Fan AKA The Indoor Kid

You just don’t quite get sports. You don’t understand why people watching get more worked up than the coaches, you can barely be entertained by the Super Bowl commercials, let alone the game, and you would never go out to play catch and risk chipping your fresh manicure. Simply put, they just aren’t your thing.

Why You’re Annoying: You rain on everyone’s parade. You interrupt the game at the worst possible time, you ask the dumbest questions, and you make it known that you aren’t enjoying yourself. Bless your heart if you try to actually play a sport.

The Fix: Find a way to enjoy game day or suck it up. Make some killer snacks for your favorite fraternity while they watch the big game, or ask your crush to give you a lesson on the rules. Just make sure to ask questions during a game people don’t care about, they’ll be a lot more willing to answer when they won’t miss something important.

There are no winners or losers in sports, just a lot of loud, annoying people.


You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.