I was eating shitty Mexican food last week with a group of friends, when all of a sudden I realized, after my fourth frozen happy hour margarita, that I was flirting with the curly-haired, dad-bod of a guy right beside me. “You’ve had enough,” I told myself as I realized what I was doing. He was a gentleman, but also managed to be the life of most parties. The problem was that he lacked the looks I naturally go after. I’d put him very quickly into my “friend-zone” awhile back. A couple of weeks prior to this night, he was part of my spring-break group. Even then, as I took grown-ass-man pulls of tequila in a skimpy bikini, I never imagined him as a possible sexual contender.
Flash back to the shitty Mexican food night, and you can see why I blamed the strawberry margs for the misinterpretation of him in my brain. I decided to slow the booze down as we all headed back to a small pregame before going out that night. There, I was still reapplying lipstick and giggling at him like some excited, yet drunken schoolgirl, while he kept his focus directly on me and making me laugh. I began to question my own motives. “Tone it down, bitch. We aren’t at the bar. He cant even buy you a drink here,” I told my egotistical self.
I don’t know when, but at some point I realized that this flirtatious encounter was more than just my typical sketchy ulterior motives to receive free drinks or to make an ex jealous. This time, I was actually attracted to him, sexually even! As I tried to un-bite my lip that I had unconsciously sunken my teeth into, I couldn’t help but sit back and appreciate the wittiness to his jokes, the ease of the conversations, and the significant things we had in common (he loved/remembered Shania Twain too???). The combination of it all was really turning me on. It was as if he were the unattainable teacher with the perfect personality who everyone wanted to fuck, except that he was attainable, and the only person wanting to fuck him was me.
When we got to the bar, I separated from him at some point, but had an unusual feeling as if I had missed out on something special. Since then, I occasionally think about him and I look forward to bumping into him again. Nice guys aren’t finishing last with me currently. I don’t know if I’m drinking until I find personalities to be the new money, or if I’m becoming attracted to a guy’s character rather than looks. Either way I decided that next time, if I was drunk, I could see myself hooking up with this charming yet semi-unattractive man (which is actually identical to how I view sleeping with typical hot guys).
I have always appreciated being extremely single, but I have also always longed for a real connection with someone who looks like Channing Tatum. Recently, I have been attracted to the idea of a real connection with someone who looks like Will Ferrell. And ladies, maybe that isn’t so bad! These Will Ferrell’s have the potential to sustain our interests longer and bring much more to our high-maintenance tables! Sometimes the hotter guy’s face value gives them too much credit, as they do not always meet our expectations in the long run. This has become more of a turn-off to me than anything else.
The odd attraction I have towards unattractive boys, keeps the sexual tension that exists in my head, very confusing, but also exciting and fresh. So keep an open mind because it’s fun. Also because there are things to gain, like a small boost of self-confidence, a potentially great time in the sack, or maybe just some increasingly better morals (don’t judge a book by its cover silly!). Like Shania Twain said, “Okay, so you’re Brad Pitt, that don’t impress me much.”.
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