John Mayer’s New Song Will Make You Want To Throw A Pair Of Shoes In A Dryer And Sit On It

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Everyone stay fucking calm but John Mayer JUST RELEASED A NEW SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014. In September, John celebrated the 10th anniversary of Continuum, the album that got everyone through their middle school and high school breakups, and what better way to celebrate than gracing us with a new song? He tweeted a teaser last week to let us know we need to get an extra pair of underwear ready.

Love On The Weekend? Ugh, sounds sexual already. After a week of anticipation and pregaming with his entire discography, he released his song on Facebook Live (strange medium but not questioning it), and America slid off of its seat.

Is this heaven? Are we dead? His music is like it’s the first time every time. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty sure he wrote this song about me. Not a big deal, but totally a big deal. Electric guitars haven’t been sexy since the ’80s, but oh baby does he make me want to tease my hair and pour some sugar on him. He used the first 20ish minutes to answer questions sent in by his fans, but he failed to answer my question, why haven’t you fallen in love with me yet? He’s just being shy. Classic John.

It’s available on iTunes now, and will be available to be pulled off of Youtube shortly. If you need me, I’ll be in my room, uh, “enjoying” this new song.

Image via Youtube

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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