Few celebs have ever elicited as complicated feelings for me as Justin Bieber. When he first came into the spotlight with “Boyfriend” or “Baby” or whatever, I was pretty much repulsed. He was prepubescent, I was a senior in high school, and the thought of fawning over a literal infant was just too much for me. As the years went on, I stopped thinking of him as a child and started thinking of him as an annoying, bratty teenager. Between his attitude, his relationships, and just his general face and style — well, there were few people in Hollywood that I wanted to punch more.
And then? Well. And then he got hot. Like really, really fucking hot and starting coming out with bomb music and videos and we were all like, shit. Do we like Justin Bieber? And, of course, the answer was yes. We did. Funny what some abs and good producers can do for a guy.
That might all be about to change because recently, Bieber acted like a little bitch. Shocking, right?
According to Vice, Biebs was partying at Cle, a Houston nightclub. He was drinking and enjoying the life of being ~famous~ and then someone whipped out the beer bong. Bonging a beer seems easy in theory. You put the hose in your mouth and suck until the liquid is gone (hi-oh!). Unfortunately, this is one of the special life skills you learn only at college, like being able to bullshit any and all essays and figuring out how to hold your liquor. Unfortunately for Justin, he didn’t have the “normal” college experience, therefore missing out on these life lessons.
Biebs grabbed a beer bong and tried his hand at chugging.
Everyone’s rooting for him. This is his moment. It’s like “8 Mile” but less sexy. As someone who has taken part (and won, btw) a beer bonging competition, there’s nothing quite like that moment when you step in front of a crowd and mentally prepare your stomach, liver, and mouth for the disaster that’s about to happen. So, naturally, when a giant celeb grabs a beer bong, you immediately take out your phone and start filming — which is exactly what Robert Earl Morgan did.
Morgan says Bieber “was clearly a novice,” spilling the brewski all over his clothes and face. Morgan says he was shooting cell phone video of the mishap, when Biebs became enraged, grabbed his cell phone and smashed it to pieces.
First of all. “Brewski” TMZ? Stop. Now, in Bieber’s defense, there is literally nothing more embarrassing than fucking up at a drinking event. Not making a cup in beer pong? Brutal. Not able to flip in flip cup? Just kill me. Screwing up shotgun or beer bong? Just give up. But, instead of just asking him to delete the video (which no sane person would ever do), he smashes his phone. And now? He’s being sued for $100,000. Apparently Morgan had a “photography minor” and his phone being destroyed will result in him losing business and losing over 500 pictures he had.
Now, to cut the shit — a photography minor? Come on. I have a theatre minor, and you don’t see me claiming I’m an actress (but like, if anyone’s casting, holla at me). I think the real story here is that some chump is making bank because a celebrity lost his temper, Bieber never learned that you can’t just smash someone’s phone because they took a bad photo of you (ever hear of Snapchat? It’s literally only that), and if you don’t go to college, you probably can’t bong a beer.
What a world we live in..