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Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Split Because John Mayer Wrote A Whole Album About Her, I’m Guessing

Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Split Because John Mayer Wrote A Whole Album About Her, I'm Guessing

All the fireworks are gone for Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. The power couple has called it quits, but in a joint statement said, “Before rumors or falsifications get out of hand we can confirm that Orlando and Katy are taking respectful, loving space at this time.”

HA. HA. What’s respectful, loving space?? I don’t think that exists. Respectful and loving space means they are sending passive aggressive text messages and social media stalking each other until one of them blows up and slashes the other’s tires. My bet is going to be on Katy.

So the real reason we are all here is to acknowledge the ironic timing of this breakup and the first two “waves” of John Mayer’s new album, “The Search for Everything,” because the whole entire thing is about his breakup with Katy.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, bad boy Johnny said, “It’s beyond a break-up record. It’s about my impression of loss. It’s about the ghost in the room. Proudly, it is, as my therapist says, a study into the metaphysics of absent love.”

Sounds deep. And painful. So is John having visions of Katy kissing girls and walking around with a cupcake bra on in his living room? Sounds like it.

More specifically, in his song “Still Feel Like Your Man,” John says his favorite line is an “autobiographical moment,” when he sings, “I still keep your shampoo in the shower, in case you want to wash your hair”

Maybe Katy broke up with Orlando because she really wants to get her shampoo back without pissing anybody off? And in conclusion, it is my only life goal to break as many hearts as Katy Perry has. She takes no bullshit.

[via Rolling Stone, E!]

Image via Shutterstock

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LizzieMcG2016

I WANT A BRA OK! WE, WE WANT A BRA!

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