So, I was just in my bedroom, drinking wine and watching E! while lying in my obnoxiously comfortable, pillow-covered bed, staring at my framed Jackie O photographs, when I had a super terrifying thought:
Somewhere, in some dark corner of the world, and in some generation, Kim Kardashian may be viewed as a fashion icon.
I’ll allow you all a moment to collect yourselves after you’ve envisioned that terrible concept.
Think about it. Stupid girls of our generation idolize Marilyn Monroe. I’ll tell you the truth about Marilyn Monroe: she was an industry-made homewrecker, and she died of an overdose. Sure, she was blonde, and sure she said a lot of asinine things that may look kind of cool quoted on a Facebook profile, but at the very heart of it all, she was actually the embodiment of what could possibly go wrong with the feminine ideal. She slept her way to success, she was married multiple times, and, according to one report, she was tragic at keeping her nails manicured. For some reason, however, our generation has idolized the early version of Anna Nicole Smith. Think about it. How many people boast Marilyn Monroe quotes as a Twitter bio? Too many, if you ask me.
I think it’s pretty clear I live in the Jackie O camp on this issue. I thought that the debate would stay in the late 1950’s/early 1960’s, but I just had a chilling thought: Kim Kardashian may be the Marilyn Monroe equivalent for our generation.
What has Kim Kardashian done? I’ll give you a brief synopsis of her resume: she made a sex tape, her dad helped defend a murderer, she’s been married twice, and she has this annoying way of speaking in a very monotone voice without changing her facial expression.
I was appalled to learn that Kim Kardashian has been fancied as somewhat of a fashion icon to GDIs everywhere. Let’s get one thing straight: just because you’re wearing designer doesn’t mean that you’re wearing fashion. Has anyone seen the difference between Kim in McQueen and Duchess Kate (my big) in McQueen? Um, it’s night and day, where night is some trashy area on the Sunset Strip and Day is the Royal Palace. Sheer, sequined, and coordinated with Kanye do not a fashion icon make.
The only thing I’m worried about is that our future daughters/nieces, etc, might lose sight of all the ridiculous shenanigans Kim has put herself through and revere her as “glamorous” or “timeless” or “chic.” Like, honestly, tonight, I was so drunk off of my Syrah that I thought Jackie O was talking to me and saying “DO NOT LET HER BECOME THE NEXT MARILYN.” Did the Kardashian clan sort of create a way of becoming famous without talent? Yes. But, does anyone else actually want to be famous for being famous? I sure hope not.
All I’m saying is that I pray we can be smart enough/breed well enough to teach future generations that Kim Kardashian is nothing but the worthless younger sister of the actual fashion icon/college graduate Kourtney Kardashian. Can you imagine browsing for wall art 20 years from now and seeing framed black and whites of the female half of Kimye?
I’ll lose it, I swear.