Let’s Bring Back Paris Hilton


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Nice Move

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I have had many strong female role models throughout my life. I’ve looked up to smart, inspiring women like Mother Teresa, Marie Curie, Oprah Winfrey, and Paris Hilton. If you were growing up in the early 2000s, Paris Hilton was everything. You couldn’t escape her. Turn on your TV and what did you see? Paris farming (or some shit like that) on The Simple Life. Scan through FM radio on your CD player/radio combo in your room and what do you hear? None other than single of the millennium, “Stars Are Blind.” And when you stood in line at the grocery store with your mom, tiny purse full of lip smackers in tow, who’s splashed on the cover of the tabloids? Paris. You couldn’t escape her.

And then something happened. We let Paris go. We let her become a fixed image of those precious times that were the early 2000s. Well I’ve had enough! It’s time we bring back this national treasure! We need a revival. Make America hot again!

She does it all. I love the Kardashians with all of my soul, but can anyone in that family claim the title of DJ/model/singer/reality star/actress/catchphrase queen? I think not. We underestimate Paris. Behind that blonde, baby-voiced (which is fake btw) Barbie exterior is a cunning business woman. Paris is smart, y’all. While she’s been fooling you all into thinking she’s just some dumb blonde, she’s racked up a net worth around $100 million. And that’s not from inheritance! The girl has eighteen perfumes that have turned into a fragrance empire. Not only is she queen of smelling good, she was also a producer of all three reality shows she starred in (Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, anyone?). Watch your back, Spielberg.

And while all of you are fawning over Taylor Swift and her measly two cats, Paris is out here helping homeless animals. She has somewhere around twenty pets (I’ve lost count tbh), that she’s saved from a rough life off the streets. Being a reasonable humanitarian, she built them their own mini mansion and made sure to give them an Instagram account. Are you seeing this Nobel Peace Prize committee??? Paris is out here giving animals the first world lives they deserve.

And there’s another glaring reason we need Paris back in our lives. It appears that America is torn up on deciding what two things we want in our POTUS. We either want a reality star that owns hotels, or someone with a vagina. Well I think we’ve found the solution.

Loves it. 😉

Image via YouTube


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