While pinning wedding pictures might be fun, the bachelorette party is the event that really matters. The glitter, the boas, the bad decisions: it’s just like a regular night in the life of a sorority girl. Well, except for the best part–the strippers. While I used to think of male strippers as grimy, peen waving weirdos, after seeing “Magic Mike,” my opinion changed drastically. After all, I would drop big bucks if it meant Chay Tates twerking was an option.
While all male strippers might not look exactly like the werewolf from “True Blood,” a girl can dream. Remember the fight scene from “Magic Mike”? Probably not. You were too distracted by the near nudity to pay attention to the terrible plot. Well, said fight has been recreated in real life, only with a meth head mistaken for a stripper instead of frat boys.
The Australian (I can hear their accents now) crew Thunder From Down Under thwarted an armed robber who was high on meth. He snuck into their Vegas dressing room to take makeup and costumes. Why was he stealing their used thongs and body glitter? Unclear. Maybe he was jealous that the strippers are too cute to be featured on Faces of Meth.
The best part? The robber was rocking a SWAT hat and a firefighter’s shirt, so everyone assumed he was a new dancer. Unfortunately, in the robber’s effort to jack the strippers’ swag, he didn’t realize that male strippers are jacked themselves. The robber was taken down by the band of strippers as they returned to their dressing room between shows.
The strippers didn’t let his gun deter them from a swift attack–besides, they probably thought he was a sexy police man with a prop. The robber fired a shot into the air, and one of the strippers is being treated for minor injuries due to the debris. I can only hope his six pack is still intact. Or, better yet, his hands. You never know what strippers’ dreams are, and like Chay Tates, this guy’s major goal could be building furniture. If anyone is in Vegas, feel free to bring over chicken noodle soup to aid his recovery, because if “Magic Mike” taught us anything, it’s that male strippers need love, too.