Mailbag: Does Size Really Matter To Girls


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Penis Size

Hi there. So I’ve read a few of your articles and was wondering something. I have been having relationship issues and I was hoping you could help me. It all started after we watched the movie “Unhung Hero.” I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s about a guy with a small dick who gets dumped by his girlfriend because of his size. Anyways, I have been with my gf for six months and yesterday when she was drunk she admitted that she thought I was small and that our sex wasn’t good.

So now, my question: Do you think size really matters? I just had to tell someone and ask a girl whose not my friend because I don’t believe them.


Hi D (ironic name for this topic),

Welcome. First of all, I want to say that I’m kind of flattered and kind of offended that you came to me for this. While it’s awkward that you just assume I know a lot about penii (made up plural for penises), it’s also totally accurate, so I get it.

What you’re asking is the most common question in the history of man. “Does size matter.” And the long and short (LOL) of it is yes and no. Annoying, right?

Penises come in all shapes and sizes. We ladies know that. We know that some are long, and some are short, and some are wearing a hoodie of skin that immediately freaks us out (sorry, just being honest). At first glance, sure, we have a thought or two about your dick. But we get over it. Whether it’s big, small, perfect, or “has a good personality,” eventually the shock (or admiration) of it wears off. Now, to be honest, if a woman had to pick the ideal penis size for a mate, she would most likely choose something between seven and nine inches. That being said, the average American male’s penis is 5.16 inches when erect. So already we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Which is something we’re kind of used to concerning guys, so it’s not that big a deal.

The truth of the matter is this: your size isn’t all that important when it comes to sex. If you’re somewhere around the average length then your penis is fine. Promise. What’s way more important than the size of your dick is how you use it. Just because a guy is well-hung, it doesn’t mean he’s good in bed. The secret to being a tomcat in the sack is to ask her what she likes. Buy some lube. Flip her around in a zillion positions so she gets dizzy and thinks she came a whole bunch. Hell, if worse comes to worst, always have a pizza ready post-sex so even if they lay is bad, the pie is good, you feel? Honestly, the most important thing is to be confident. Nothing is more unattractive than a man who is insecure about his penis.

Pro tip: If you’re really concerned, work on your oral skills. If you can eat a good vag you can land a good lady. That’s just science.

And as for that girlfriend of yours? She doesn’t sound like a good lady. If anything she sounds like a total C U Next Tuesday. Any woman who tells her guy that he’s small deserves to die alone. Or at least get dumped. Unless, of course, he called you fat, ugly, over-emotional, clingy, crazy, or “better off as a friend.” Then he’s just asking for it. But I don’t that’s the case here, Big D. It seems to me like your girlfriend doesn’t know what the most important thing in a relationship is. It’s not the size of your penis. It’s the size of your wallet heart that really counts. Work on your movie choices and box munching skills and you’ll be just fine.

Image via Shutterstock

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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