Times are tough, you know? Not for me, or anything, but for some people. You get down on your luck, you don’t have any money, and you need a way to get it. Wouldn’t it be helpful if there were a “How To” guide on robbing a bank? Finally, thanks to Dominyk Alfonseca, 23, now there is. He robbed a bank in Norfolk Virginia and put the whole thing on Instagram.
Step 1: Call the police station to find out if you have any messages.
The best way to find out whether the police are about to be on your trail is to give them a call and ask if they have anything they need to say to you. Alfonseca had no messages from the station, and realized he was in the clear.
Step 2: Write a friendly note instructing your bank teller on how your vision for this robbery is going to go down.
It’s important to include plenty of smiley faces, so she knows that you intend to be amicable with her once you leave, but be sure to give her strict instructions on when to call the police
It’s important that the bank teller not contact the police or “ring the bell,” until after you’ve left the building, to minimize your risk of being caught. Don’t bother checking for grammar.
Step 3: Put your plan into action!
Just head on over to the bank, and hand the teller the trusty note you’ve written. She’ll know what to do!
Step 4: Profit!
It’s best to collect your earnings — err, stealings — in hundreds of one dollar bills as Alfonseca has done. The more bills you shove into your backpack, the cooler it will look on Instagram.
Step 5: Shift blame.
When you rob a bank for $150,000, you are likely to be arrested (without bail, as Alfonseca was). You need to stick to your story. You had no weapon, or face mask. All you did was request the money, and it was the teller who voluntarily gave it to you. This is really her B if you think about it.
Crushed it..
[via BuzzFeed]
Nice Move245
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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