You know who one of my least favorite couples are? Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. Hands-down, they’re the worst. I mean, just look at them. Ashton is smart, successful, and easily one of the hottest guys alive, but he would totally make it onto your “celebrities I would marry” list because he’s just that great. And then there’s Mila freaking Kunis. She’s raunchy, funny, and a total cool girl, not to mention that she’s hot enough to make most of us say “yeah, I’d try vagina for her.”
They’re literally the perfect couple — and I absolutely hate them for it. Call me jealous, because yes, you’re right.
Still, I didn’t think it could get worse. So they were two really hot, really successful people who managed to star as lovers in a TV show when they were young, go their separate ways, come together and decide to be FWBs and then fall in love and live happily ever after? It’s not like that’s the most far-fetched, unheard of, romcom-worthy story we’ve ever heard or anything.
But to top it all off, Mila just admitted that Ashton Kutcher’s heart isn’t the only thing that’s big. The guy of our dreams just so happens to have a big one. A grower AND a shower. A monster cock. Don’t believe me? See for yourself (her admitting it. Not his penis, sadly).
If watching people eat cow tongue and brains isn’t gross enough (seriously, watch the video), the fact that she gets to go home to him makes me feel sick. No wonder she couldn’t stay away from him. If things don’t work out, hit me up, Ashton. I might not have Mila’s good personality, looks, or talent — but I am good at canceling plans and breaking my diet so like, same thing..
[via Youtube]
Image via Youtube
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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