You know how sometimes you look in the mirror after spending hours making your baby-thin hair look like it has volume and painting cheekbones on your painfully round face and think, “huh, maybe I’m not a total pile of human garbage after all”? And then, sometimes you accidentally look in the mirror after a night spent face first in the toilet or a weekend without showering and you think “just kidding, I really am a walking garbage can.” Well, don’t worry. It’s all about to get a hell of a lot worse.
Julian De Silva, MD, from Centre for Advanced Facial Cosmetic and Plastic Surgery, decided to use computer facial mapping along with the ancient Greek philosophy called the Phi ratio to determine who, exactly, are the most beautiful women in the world. And they most certainly are not us.
He said in Cosmopolitan:
With this ground-breaking technology, we have solved some of the mysteries of what it is that makes someone physically beautiful. The results were startling and showed several famous actresses and models have facial features that come close to the ancient Greek principles for perfection.
How close, exactly do they come to perfection? Like, painfully, scarily, I’m-no-longer-a-fan-of-theirs-because-it’s-not-fair close. From the least most beautiful to the most most beautiful, just to drag out your agony, here are the most georgous women in the world. And if it’s using a Greek system, you know it has to be true.
Jennifer Lawrence: 89.24 percent “perfect.”
Marilyn Monroe: 89.41 percent “perfect.”
Selena Gomez: 89.57 percent “perfect.”
Scarlett Johansson: 89.82 percent “perfect.”
Helen Mirren: 89.93 percent “perfect.”
Kendall Jenner: 90.18 percent “perfect.”
Emily Ratajkowski: 90.8 percent “perfect.”
Kate Moss: 91.06 percent “perfect.”
Kim Kardashian: 91.39 percent “perfect.”
Amber Heard: 91.85 percent “perfect.”
Now, he claims that he didn’t do this to make girls everywhere hate each other and rip out other bitches’ extensions, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to stop us. Now to just take a picture of Amber Heard’s face to my (imaginary) plastic surgeon, and we’ll be good..