Good sex is like a really, really intense cardio workout, a Xanax, and a huge glass of wine all rolled up into one. It can make you feel relaxed, calm, and exhilarated all at the same time. Even bad sex is still not the worst thing ever; the fact that you probably didn’t get off sucks, but still, you got laid. Sometimes, though, sex with another sweaty person just won’t cut it, and you need some alone time with your vibrator to feel truly satisfied.
In this case, you’re probably looking for the female equivalent of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, aka a quick orgasm so you can get back to watching The Bachelorette. Because orgasms aren’t just your basic bodily function. Besides the obvious, that they make you feel like you’re both high and drunk, and floating on a bed made of clouds, they’ve also been proven to release all kinds of cool hormones that help you feel amazing. I also swear that they cure headaches—feel free to try that theory out on yourself sometime. And now, based on a new study performed by my favorite sex toy company Adam & Eve, as well as Olympic coach Dr. Mike Young, we all might have something new to thank sex for.
The study, conducted on 21 collegiate and national athletes, involved doctors monitoring their sexual activity either with a partner or themselves, and then testing athletic ability with tests in speed, strength, and agility. The results? Sex is basically a performance-enhancing drug.
The athletes tested performed at a higher overall level physically on their testing exercises across the board, but there was also a correlation between agility increasing in relation to partnered sex, and strength performance improving in correlation with masturbation. The study hypothesized that at least part of the increase in performance was due to certain chemicals released during orgasm, both for men and women. Like I said: orgasms are magic. And a lot of these chemicals released during orgasm have effects on the body that mirror those produced by performance-enhancing drugs.
Norepinephrine, for example, is a chemical released during orgasm that increases alertness and blood flow to muscles, much like the prohibited substance adrenaline. Oxytocin, also released naturally during orgasm, helps reduce inflammation and create feelings of optimism and higher self-esteem, mimicking the performance-enhancing drug Prasterone. So, orgasms are literal drugs that not only make you feel better, they make you perform better physically. On top of that, sex for athletes of any grade is perfectly legal, so why waste your time on prohibited substances when you can just get laid with the same effect? I’m not seeing a downside here.
For Olympic, professional, and collegiate athletes, this news is obviously huge, but for the rest of us, it’s equally important. Next time you’re looking for a way to increase the efficiency of your workout, go ahead and have a quickie beforehand either with yourself or someone else. You just might get a little more out of that elliptical than usual..
[via Adam and Eve]
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Shannon Layne
My favorite things are tiaras, compliments, and free drinks, which are becoming harder to come by the more I tend to show up at the bar in sweat pants. The proudest moment of my life so far has been landing an actual, paying job that allows me to Facebook stalk people for a living. I tweet about my mom way too often, who is constantly trying to remind me that I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. Please send me funny stories to read at work here: [email protected]
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