Sex is easy to get. Let’s be honest, as an elite group of stereotypically attractive (just continuing to be honest) females, we don’t really have to try to find sex. It’s just sort of there when we decide we want it. Which is fine. But the thing is, we don’t really care about sex. What we care about is good sex. And finding good sex? Now that is hard. Pun fully intended.
Apparently, however, the trick to getting good sex isn’t to look for it. It’s to demand it. That seems to have been working for Nicki Minaj. And whatever works for Nicki Minaj will surly work for us, right? In a recent interview, she told Cosmopolitan that when it comes to bedroom stuff, she doesn’t accept anything less than the best.
I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me. We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying, ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this.’ She says she’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser, but it’s fifty-fifty.
The only problem with this is that the same people who are screwing Nicki Minaj aren’t the same people who are screwing us. For the most part, drunk-off-their-ass college guys aren’t the best at getting us off. Sure, a few thrusts in a shared fraternity bedroom might work for some girls, but wait, no it doesn’t. I’d love to say, “Let’s demand orgasms!” but I don’t think that’s the problem. The problem is that these guys don’t know how. Maybe if we include a “How To: Sex” class in the gen-ed requirements, we wouldn’t have so many unhappy couples. Plus, that would be tuition money very well spent.
It’s time we demand orgasms ladies, or at least teach guys how to properly give one. And if all else fails, we can always date our vibrators. At least they don’t make us watch sports highlights..