A Totally Realistic And Not At All Excessive Packing List For Your Weekend Trip


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With long weekends, weddings, and holidays, the season of weekend trips is upon us. And while I tend to be a decent packer, these always get me. What will you need? Can you get away with not checking a bag (lol good luck)? What if you randomly decide to go to a ball and you don’t have a gown? I’ve put together a little list to help you pack for your trip because I know how stressful it is, and also because I know you’ll be living out of the suitcase for like two months after you get back because unpacking is the worst.

  1. Four pairs of cute underwear.
  2. Two more, “just in case.”
  3. And two more ugly ones, in case you randomly start bleeding or shit yourself.
  4. Two pretty, clean bras.
  5. The bra on your floor that you haven’t washed in, well, awhile.
  6. Shorts that you don’t actually fit into but dream of wearing.
  7. Your fat girl shorts.
  8. Jeans even though it’s summer and you get heat stroke just by looking at them.
  9. A skirt that just barely hides you vagina.
  10. A skirt that you could wear to church if you randomly decided to become religious.
  11. Tampons.
  12. Even though you’re not supposed to get your period for another two weeks, more tampons.
  13. A crop top.
  14. Actually, make that two crop tops.
  15. A long sleeve top that goes with literally nothing else you packed but for some reason you just can’t not pack it.
  16. Five different shirts you just grabbed at random.
  17. Two pairs of wedges.
  18. And two pairs of heels because by God, you need options.
  19. And one pair of hooker heels because by God, you also need male attention.
  20. Gladiator sandals that squeeze your feet so tight they look like Christmas hams when you take them off.
  21. Keds. Because fucking duh.
  22. Maybe like, seven different socks because you lost track while throwing them in there.
  23. A sundress that just screams “I had no idea my tits look so great in this!”
  24. A full-on slut dress.
  25. Cute sleep clothes.
  26. Realistic sleep clothes.
  27. Body glitter, because you just never know.
  28. Your curling wand.
  29. Your curling iron in case your wand breaks or you accidentally forgot to pack it but it might be so deep in your luggage already and you honestly don’t want to pull everything back out.
  30. Hairspray that you pray won’t get thrown out in security.
  31. Every piece of makeup you have ever purchased.
  32. Even the shit you decided looked horrible on you. Maybe it’ll look different across the country?
  33. Mini shampoo, conditioner, lotion, more lotion, tanning lotion, hand lotion, face wash, makeup wipes, toothpaste, toothbrush, mouth wash. Lotion.
  34. A brush. Don’t forget your brush.
  35. And a comb! You don’t really use a comb but maybe you’ll need it.
  36. And the extensions you can never quite put in correctly.
  37. Two swimsuits. No, you don’t plan on swimming, but maybe you’ll randomly come across a pool and a shirtless man who needs his sunscreen rubbed in.
  38. OMG. Deodorant. You almost forgot deodorant.
  39. And perfume!
  40. I guess like, athletic shoes? I mean what if you have to go *gasp* hiking?
  41. That adorable little purse you’ve never actually used.
  42. A book?
  43. Your passport. No, you’re not traveling overseas, but you do have an Instagram and the need for a totally cliché airport pic.
  44. HEADPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!
  45. An extra pair of headphone in case yours break because you will *not* be making small talk thank you very much.
  46. A little blanket.
  47. And a little neck pillow.
  48. And a little pack of condoms.
  49. That leftover pizza you got the other night that you hope security will let you bring.
  50. A robe? Do you need a robe? You might need a robe, right?
  51. And a facial mask? You don’t want to break out on vacay.
  52. Sunglasses that will hide your face and also guarantee at least triple digit likes.
  53. Your dog! You can smuggle your dog with you, right?
  54. A gown. Because idk. Maybe you’ll meet a prince and have to go to a family ball last minute.
  55. And I guess you should bring your something old, blue, and borrowed just in case.
  56. That’s it. Right? Oh. Wait. Your boarding pass. Grab that too.

Annnnnnd you forgot your phone charger. Fuck.

Image via Instagram / @rachelpage_

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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