Parting Words to a Bad Boyfriend

Email this to a friend

Nice Move

Dear Satan,
Dear Life-Ruiner,
Dear Asshole,

Hey.

This may come as a shock to you, as, in the past, I’ve willingly put up with all of your mind games, cruel words, and general douchebaggery, but I had a revelation. Not so much of a revelation, because I always knew, it just never mattered. It matters now.

I don’t know what changed from yesterday to today. I wish I could say you finally went too far with your behavior and did something shitty enough to push me over the edge. Or that I’d reached my quota on blow jobs for a person who doesn’t want to take me on dates. Or that the horrible things you say in an attempt to derail my self-esteem finally accomplished what they were intended to do. But none of those things are true. None of those things would have made me quit you.

And I know all the things you’ve said. You’re scared. It’s risky. You “don’t deserve me.” And I’ve told you and told you that it isn’t true. And I’ve excused your behavior and the way you made me feel, because of your own alleged insecurities. But you know what…you DON’T deserve me. But it’s not for the reasons you think. It’s not because you aren’t handsome enough, or tall enough, or otherwise genetically desirable enough. It’s not because of all your weird quirks. In fact, I love those things about you. Well. I don’t. But I don’t mind them, and I love that you showed them to me.

I don’t know what finally made me wake up and realize it, but the bottom line is…I don’t like how you treat me. You bring me more negativity in a day than you do positivity in the whole week. And yes, when we are great, we are GREAT. And I thought the great was worth fighting the shitty for. So I fought it and fought it. Your nasty comments and judgmental character, your propensity to bicker, your stubborn and unforgiving nature, your cruel, heartless jokes, your constant cycle of pushing me away and then reeling me back in, and the awful way you make me feel about myself almost all of the time – I fought it all for that little bit of great. Because it is SO great. But I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of being angry all the time, because it’s fun for you to see me get angry. I’m tired of being treated like shit because for some warped reason you convinced me it was a good thing. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Relationships are supposed to make your life easier, not harder.

I tried so hard to make you happy, and I thought if I could finally do it, if I could change you, you’d eventually want to make me happy too. But you don’t want to be happy. You love being miserable, so I tried to go to a place of misery too. So I could be with you. I thought it would be okay as long as we were there together. But I don’t want to be miserable any more.

And it sucks because I like you SO much. Enough to let all this happen for so long. Enough to have faith that if I just held on a little bit longer, we could be happy. But I don’t think you can change…and I really really want to be happy. So I think it’s time to bow out before I really hate you. And before I really love you.

Absolutely, Truly, and Sincerely,
Done.

***

  • Editor’s Note: Sorry you guys. I accidentally listened to Taylor Swift’s newest monstrosity this morning and this is what came out.


  • Email this to a friend

    Nice Move

    Comments

    You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.

    1. superwayne

      I’d never make you miserable sweetie. Too steal and modified line from the 40 year old virgin (Dorn), I WOULD put the pussy on a pedestal :).

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
      2
    2. Plan B is Plan A

      The greatest thing about these stupid letters is that you seriously think it’s going to be this cathartic, earth-shattering blow to his ego. The reality is that he’s going to show it to all his buddies who will laugh at what a desperate psycho you are, after which it will be thrown immediately into the trash never to be given another look.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
      -1
    3. PeaceLoveandDZ

      Hot Piece, can you please stop using TFM as a forum for your own post-grad boy problems and go back to writing about things that most girls can relate to? I mean, you basically admitted this article is completely about you because you were inspired by a tswift song, so obviously you didn’t have your TFM job in mind.
      Hope to read this kind of stuff on wordpress, thanks.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
      -6
      • Born_in_24

        Just out of curiosity why does it seem like girls see guys as this type or the “emotional slut” type? (Yeah I read TSM articles) The vast majority of my friends toe the line between the two but I never seem to see that kind mentioned.

        ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
        1
      • hot piece of TSM

        Girlfriend, this is so relatable. I’m not even seeing anyone right now, and I’m certainly not breaking up with anyone right now. I’m just a genius who realized people like T Swift for a reason and I tried it out because I absolutely had my job in mind. Suck onnnn that. ay ay ay ay ay ay ay

        ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
        0
      • alphaxiforme

        I actually find this incredibly relatable for anybody who had chosen to date a douchebag (knowingly or unknowingly in the beginning). And let’s face it, the guys that most sorority girls go for in college aren’t always the nicest guys.

        ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
        0
      • hot piece of TSM

        I think it’s less interesting to read and write about guys who are exactly what you want. This isn’t a nicholas sparks novel so a perfect guy and a perfect relationship just isn’t all that entertaining for these purposes. Also….I think guys that ACTUALLY toe the line are fewer than you think. Lots of guys turn into bitches privately, and say really gay sweet things and others are bigger assholes probably than even they realize. It may partially be a girls interpretation of him though…he just SEEMS like a total asshole once you’re hurt.

        ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
        -1