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“People” Names Sexiest Man Alive — People Are Pissed

The sexiest man alive was just announced by People magazine and people people are not too pleased. The crown goes to none other than Maroon 5’s lead singer, Adam Levine, who revealed to People that he cries during movies, and he loves to be naked. We love it when you’re naked, too, Adam.

The response has overwhelmingly be negative. Adam is just too skinny, too tatted, and too into models (but who would the sexiest man alive date, if not models?). Fans think the title should have gone to dreamboat Ryan Gosling, because “Oh my God. I got pregnant just by looking at him.” Personally, I’m over Gosling. Can we all have some originality and obsess over our own celebrities who wouldn’t give us the time of day should we meet? I mean, really. Dibs on Paul Rudd. Oh, no one was competing with me for him? Okay, cool.

What everyone is neglecting to realize is that the “sexiest man alive” isn’t really the sexiest man alive. It’s just a decently sexy man, with a good publicist, who fits a “type” that hasn’t been featured on People in awhile. Duh.

Haters still had this to say the following about People’s choice:

“So sorry. Nothing sexy about a man-o-rexic, serial model-date. Oh, did I mention his nasal, whiny voice? He is the #Antisexy.”

[via NY Daily News, People]

Image via Blogspot

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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