Fitness expert, thinspiration, personal trainer, and bitch I’m jealous of, Mel of MelVFitness, decided to take Instagram by storm, and post “before” and “after” pictures of a complete body transformation. She shows her followers how to lose fifteen pounds in fifteen minutes. I’ve literally been waiting for this day to come since my weight hit triple digits in the eighth grade. Worst year of my life, and it’s all been downhill from there.
She posted the above photo with the following caption as a means to make the world aware of the gimmicks fitness companies use to trick people into thinking their products work.
Check out my transformation! It took me 15 minutes. Wanna know my secret? Well firstly I ditched the phonewallet (fwallet) cause that shit is lame, swapped my bather bottoms to black (cause they’re a size bigger & black is slimming), Smothered on some fake tan, clipped in my hair extensions, stood up a bit taller, sucked in my guts, popped my hip- threw in a skinny arm, stood a bit wider #boxgap, pulled my shoulders back and added a bit of a cheeky/Im so proud of my results smile. Zoomed in on the before pic- zoomed out on the after & added a filter. Cause filters make everything awesome.
What’s my point? Don’t be deceived by what you see in magazines & on Instagram. You never see the dozens of other pics they took that wernt as flattering. Photoshop can make a pig look hotter then Beyonce.
See, Mom? The skinny arm WORKS, so you can quit making fun of me for it! Personally, I fancy myself an expert at making myself look skinnier in pictures than I am in real life — skinny arm complete with anorexic clavy pop, hair covering arm, clutch over tummy, makeup contouring, smile small to make your cheeks look less round, stand next to fatter person, blur the shit out of everything — I mean…no, trolls. I don’t. I’m actually fatter in pics. I’m very skinny in real life. Regardless, I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to make that much of a transformation, and I’ll be taking notes. Thanks, Mel.
[via Gawker]
Image via Instagram
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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