PNMs Pay For Recruitment Lessons to Ensure Bids

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Dear PC ‘12,

I hate you. I’m not sure what’s wrong with this country but apparently a whole shit ton of you are cheating the Recruitment system, and that’s only okay when we do it. I understand that Recruitment is the most important thing you’ll ever do, and the outcome affects the friends you’ll have for the rest of your entire life…but that doesn’t excuse this behavior.

The class of 2016, apparently, has gone out and paid for Recruitment lessons over the summer. The purpose of which is to explain the process to them and make it less overwhelming, and to teach them “how to be perceived as likable, damage control techniques, just in case you say the wrong thing, and hair and makeup consultation.”

I’m sorry, what? You need to be taught how to be perceived as likable? You know how I get people to perceive me as likable? By being likable. And if you don’t know how to do your own hair and make-up by the time you’re 18, there is really no help for you anyway. Back in my day, there was no pep talk about Recruitment outside the same one all however-many other PNMs got from their recruitment counselors and director of Greek affairs. I walked through a claustrophobic tunnel of perfectly coiffed, creepy plaster-smiling girls chanting at me through judging eyes as unsure how to react as the girls in front of and behind me. I had pointless conversations and prayed they liked me and was later carefully picked apart head to toe by the girls I thought were so friendly…maybe. I earned my spot in my sorority the old-fashioned way; by being pretty. Kidding kind of. But my point is, I did it on my own, and earned my bid because the Recruitment gods wanted me to have it. Not because I manipulated the system.

These girls’ parents are paying between $50/lesson and $2000 for a two-week course in order to ensure that their daughters can get into the sorority of their choosing. THAT. Is a ridiculous thing. And THAT. Is how bad eggs slip through the cracks. I urge girls who haven’t done Recruitment yet to be as selective as possible.

Not to mention…this really isn’t helpful for the whole “you pay for your friends” thing. Critics say this is sending the message that “what’s more important to [us] is that [we’re] pretty and cute and superficial instead of going to school to come into [our] own and learn”…and that’s only half true. So thanks, PC’12. And fuck you.

***


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Hot Piece (@VeronicaGrandex) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Hot Piece has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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