Power Ranking Of Sports Fans Based On Dateability


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Sports! Every girl’s favorite hobby! We know that guys love sports, sometimes more than us, so if we’re around them, we’ll have to sit quietly on our phones while they back up people they don’t even know and yell out numbers and stats at each other. While they are all obsessed, they all have their own personality, which makes it easier to decipher which fans we should date and which we should dump.

10. NASCAR Fans

You’re lucky if this guy has a full set of teeth. This piece of white trash is probably not the brightest seeing as he enjoys watching people drive around in a circle for hours. To this day, I have never understood why this is considered a sport in the first place.

9. X Games Fans

The only people who should like the X games are 13-year-olds and the athletes that make millions of dollars off of said 13-year-olds. If they themselves have aspirations to be on the X games, turn and run before they make you come to a skate park and watch them fall on their asses 20 times in a row while getting cancer from all the second hand smoke. Hard pass.

8. NFL Fans

NFL fans are an entire different species of human. They are actual monsters. I have never encounter an angrier group of men than at an Eagles/Cowboys game in Philly. Grown adults with face paint were screaming at each other in broad daylight. Their potbellies were coated in their team’s colors while they foamed at the mouth with anger on the sideline. These are the guys who love to include themselves in the team. “We need to pick it up.” “I can’t believe we’re losing right now. We’ve been doing so well this season.” Their mood depends solely on the performance of the team, which is completely asinine.

7. Women’s Volleyball Fans

Total pervs, but they’re still supporting a women’s sport. Kind of a tough call.

6. Tennis Fans

There’s something a little, shall we say, off about tennis fans. They’re nice enough guys, but tennis is for nerds. They’re the guys from high school that were sensitive (read: total pussies). They definitely won’t get up in your face about it, but they probably won’t get in your face about much. Yawn.

5. Golf Fans

Being a fan of literally the most boring sport ever invented says a lot about a guy. He’s a total pushover and you could probably make him do whatever you want, but he probably has an early bedtime. Because he’s elderly.

4. Soccer Fans

Soccer fans have a bit of exotic flare to them. We are the only country who is not super into soccer, as well as the only country to call it soccer, so being a soccer fan makes him totally cultured. Soccer players are lowkey douchebags, but soccer fans are cool AF.

3. College Football Fans

College football is huge, especially in the south, but they atmosphere is way different than NFL fans. These are actually reasonable people who are in it for the camaraderie of rooting for a team. They have fun tailgates with lots of beer and lots of food. They don’t try to fight the other team’s fans because they’re too busy having a good time. They’re still alpha males who love watching dudes beat up on each other, but they’re not trying to shove it down your throat.

2. Basketball Fans

Basketball fans are super smooth. Sitting courtside is a rite of passage for the rich and famous, so if you get good seats with your boy, you’re halfway there. Basketball fans get into the game without getting *too* into it. They’re fun, but not crazy. Aggressive, but not angry. The perfect combination.

1. Baseball Fans

Baseball fans are far and above the best type of fan to date. Something about them just screams boyfriend material. They’re simple guys who enjoy the simple pleasures in life. To them, nothing is better than spending the day with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other, sitting and baking in the sun, and cheering on their team with their girl. The game isn’t very aggressive, which means they don’t get aggressive about it. Baseball doesn’t require much explaining, so they aren’t spitting rules and regulations at you while the game is going on. Without all that swimming around in his head, there’s plenty of room for you. The best part is you know he’ll never skip third base.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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