Proof That Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money” Music Video Is Exactly Like Recruitment


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Nice Move

Recruitment, ugh.

The PNMs put on their Sunday best to prepare.

And they’re so happy. So oblivious.

Because they have no idea what they’re in for.

The first group arrives and we’re all, “WELCOME TO OUR HOME BITCHES.”

They walk inside, and we have to act really sweet even though we’re all a little bit crazy.

So on the outside we’re like,

But on the inside, we mean business.

You try to be as nice as possible to all the freshmen you meet.

Even though, as a person, you’re generally like:

Shit gets boring, and you can’t help but think about all the places you’d rather be.

And things you’d rather be doing.

Of course, all the frat guys are driving by the house like total creepers.

Pretty soon, we’re all irrationally angry.

Mostly because our recruitment chair caught us on our phone and was basically like,

Also because the sack lunches suck.

But at least your baddest bitches are right there suffering through the process with you.

They make it easier to convince the PNMS that your house a non-stop bundle of fun.

Towards the end, everyone is so ready to hand in the bids.

First we gotta cut some bitches.

But bid day makes everything worth it.

Bad bitch out.

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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