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Queen Elizabeth’s Drinking Habits Make Yours Look Weak AF

Queen Elizabeth

At this point in my life, my drinking habits are pretty much set in stone. Between Saturday nights, Sunday brunches, and wine with Netflix twice a week, I feel fairly confident that I’m barely under the limit of what the CDC considers a threat to my health. I feel pretty good about this though because the couple of nights I take off drinking help me recuperate and get ready to re-watch Stranger Things for the fourth time with a glass of wine tomorrow night. Apparently though, I’m a major wimp because according to Queen Elizabeth, I should be drinking every single night like she does.

Instead of taking a night or two off because she’s 90 freaking years old, Elizabeth is outdrinking me consistently because according to Business Insider, she downs a glass of champagne every night before bed because she’s a freaking boss. While I’m sipping tea three nights a week to supposedly help my liver recover, Elizabeth is out here acting like every night is New Year’s Eve. Of course, we’ve already reported that drinking champagne is related to improved brain health (http://totalsororitymove.com/science-says-champagne-is-good-for-your-health/), so Elizabeth may actually be proof that drinking copious amounts of bubbly might just be the key to living forever.

Instead of taking shots this weekend, I’ll stick to a bottle of Korbel – not just because it tastes better (which it does) or looks better in photos (which it does), but because it’s the alcoholic equivalent of a green smoothie and I care about my health, thank you very much. Instead of destroying my liver, I’ll be setting myself up for a long, long life filled with all of the champagne my heart desires. At the very worst, I live to a regular lifespan and enjoy my alcohol, and at the best, I live a long and healthy life, so missing out on these health benefits is not a risk I’m willing to take. Life’s all about making healthy choices, so instead of counting calories, just swap out your Sunday bloodies for mimosas and you may just live longer than anyone you know. Besides, you read it on the Internet, so it must be true. Take your health and a bottle of bubbly into your hands like Queen Elizabeth and get ready to live to 120.

[via Business Insider]

Image via Shutterstock | Bangkok Happiness

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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