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Realistic GoFundMe’s That Every Basic Bitch Needs

Despite what every stereotypical sorority movie wants us to think, most sorority girls are just as broke as everyone else. Okay, maybe there are some that have a nice little allowance from the ‘rents, but they too, quickly blow it on booze and t-shirt orders. I missed the part of Legally Blonde where she dines on cheap Taco Bell, and borrows her formal dress from a friend. Elle Woods, you are living a lie.

In a world full of broke kids, too proud to ask strangers for money in real life, comes the next best thing: asking strangers for money on the internet. I can’t log onto Facebook without seeing a random person from high school I talked to once sharing a GoFundMe page. Between mission trips, studies abroad, and supporting someone’s “journey to fulfill dreams in NYC,” you’d think the people of the Internet’s wallet would be sucked dry.

If we’re being real with ourselves, let’s just cut out the middle man and ask strangers on the Internet for money for things we actually want need. I, for instance, made a GoFundMe to fix the tragedy I call my hair. It’s not greedy, it’s practical. And I got to thinking, some of you out there might need a GoFundMe too. I took the liberty of jotting down some ideas.

For Hair Care Disasters

FINAL HAIR

For Medical Needs Insurance Won’t Cover

FINALBOOB

For Podiatric Troubles

FINALLOUB

For Dire Steps Towards A Healthy Life

FINALLULU

For Downright Desperation

FINALNET

For Recruitment Necessities

FINALWRIST

Life can be so demanding.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: rpage@grandex.co

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