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Really Single Girl Drops Kid In Attempt To Catch A Wedding Bouquet

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No one is ever totally psyched to attend a wedding, and not just because it’s just another obligation or because you have to dish out a ton of cash on an acceptable gift. No matter how delicious the cake is or how lenient the open bar is on over serving your drunk ass, you can’t help but feel really, really single. I mean, you’re stuck watching two people find love and share that feeling with everyone they care about. It’s a magical experience, but the whole ordeal makes you want to crawl into a hole and die of loneliness.

Maybe that’s why people go so crazy over the bouquet toss. It’s a small, hopeful glimmer of light in an otherwise harsh reality, and could potentially end with you finding that special someone. Obviously the odds are stacked against you, and you’re likely to emerge single and drunk as ever, but a girl can hope.

A video recently surfaced of some wedding attendees congregating for the bouquet toss. They look like your average group of single gals: some young, some old, and some drunk. When the brides tosses the bouquet, a girl in the front of the group actually drops a child that she is holding in a savage attempt to catch the flowers.

Wow. Just… wow.

Apparently the baby in question is actually the little sister of the girl who was holding her, and both came out of the situation unharmed.

I want to judge her, but honestly, I get it. That baby has at least eighteen years before she can even start thinking about settling down, so why should she get a front row, hands-free seat while the older gals lag at the back? Selfish little brat.

I kid, sorta. My real issue with what’s happening here is that that girl had no chance of catching the bouquet, because it flew like five feet over her head and into the back of the group. Did she seriously thinking dropping her sister would magically make her three feet taller? People that dumb don’t need to get married. It’s probably best if they don’t breed.

Maybe she used the kid as a decoy, so people would think she wasn’t an obvious threat or capable of catching jack shit. Little did they know she was more than willing to drop a baby to find herself a man. Bold strategy. I’ll have to try it out next time I’m dragged to a ceremony.

[via Jezebel]

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].

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