Self-Proclaimed Mama’s Boy Finding It Difficult To Find Girlfriend Who Will Worship Him


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HOBOKEN — Ever since he was a child, John Italiano has been close with his mom. The youngest of two, he was always the baby of the family.

“Ever since my Johnny was born, we have been inseparable. I’ll never forget his fifth birthday, I was breast feeding him, and he looked up at me and said ‘Mommy, you are my best friend.’ I damn near lost it,” Mrs. Italiano told TSM.

John, a junior at Rutgers University, has spent the last two years of college trying to navigate the college dating scene with no luck.

“I’ve had a few flings and even dated one girl seriously, but I just haven’t found someone worth settling down with. Call me old fashioned, but I can’t ‘just hook up.’ Everyone says it’s a good thing but it’s kind of a curse,” John shared. “I think it’s because there is only one lady in my life and there is just no replacing her.”

John has always showed his affection for his mother in every way he can, his favorite being #WCW shoutouts.

“I just want everyone to know how much I love her. I’m not, like, in love with my mom. I just love her so much and I want to marry her. I mean, marry a girl just like her.”

John’s mom is very short and has brunette hair and blue eyes, and ironically enough, so has every girl that John has ever taken interest in. TSM caught up with his only serious girlfriend in college, Hannah, who was able to give us some insight on why he is having such a hard time finding love.

“He wanted me to do everything for him,” Hannah said. “Like not just carry the relationship, but carry shit like his wallet for him. One time he asked me to cut his meat for him.”

Besides John’s behavior, it seems his relationship with his mom would get in the way of his relationship with Hannah.

“We would be hanging out and his mom would call him and he would disappear into his room for easily an hour just talking to her. Half the time he would be yelling at her in an exasperated tone like an angsty teenager.” Hannah said.

Hannah got visibly more and more frustrated the more she thought about her relationship with John.

“It’s like, if I said anything remotely disagreeing with him he would freak out! It’s like his whole life he was never told that he was wrong and everything he did was perfect.” she nearly screamed.

When John’s mom heard this remark, she was not having it.

“My Johnny IS perfect. Hannah will never be good enough for my baby boy. No one will be. NO ONE.”

While it may never be clear whether or not John is perfect or not, one thing is for certain, his search for a woman to love started and ended at birth.

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A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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