I hate the fidget spinner trend. There. I said it. Nothing bad happened. A group of millennials haven’t shown up at my door, ready to kill me (maybe they’re waiting till tonight to do that).
Before everyone goes off, yes, some people actually need them, medically. However, I’m positive that this select group of people doesn’t involve every single frat bro at Lambda Alpha Beer Pong. I also do get that they’re supposed to keep you focused, and undistracted. However, when Brenda is spinning her fucking bedazzled spinner right by my ear during a three-hour lecture, I don’t know what I’m supposed to use to avoid being distracted too. Another fidget spinner? So the cycle continues?
The trend has gone too far. I’m baffled that I’m the only person still distracting myself the old fashioned way in class – with Facebook and online shopping. However, the latest fidget spinner isn’t just ridiculous, it’s personally insulting. Sephora has announced that they will soon be selling Fidget Spinner lip balm, and its exactly as heinous as you would expect it to be.
At first, I thought that this was marketed to children. After all, who the hell else still wears lip balm (don’t @ me, “I’m so natural” girls). However, much to my dismay, like the original fidget spinners, adults have started to use these.
The “Glam Spinner” was developed as a collaboration between Buzzfeed Product Labs and Taste Beauty. The brands boasted that the idea only took them 28 days to develop, which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.
“What are two things that idiots are buying in excess, without giving any real thought or care to what the product actually is, as long as its ‘trendy’?”
“Makeup and fidget spinners.”
Now, I’m no innovator, but I’ll give their foolproof method of creating a soon-to-be popular product a shot: millennials like pizza (they won’t shut up about it on social media) and alcohol. Let’s make vodka that tastes like artificial pizza. Even better, lets just start soaking pre-made pieces of pizza in vats of alcohol. Sounds disgusting and unappealing? Doesn’t matter, because it’s trendy.
So, if you love fidget spinners, and are cool being the only twenty-something who still wears tinted lip balm, this product is currently sold on their e-commerce website, glamspin.com, and will soon be available at Sephora, Saks Fifth Avenue and Dylan’s Candy Bar.
I hate our generation..