Weddings are the best. You get to eat a shit-ton of free food, get embarrassingly drunk, and cry in the corner before some horny groomsman tries to stick his tongue down your throat. Sighhhh. Oh, love. Sure, being invited to the event is fun, but weddings are even better when you’re the plus one. You don’t have to make small talk with your own weird family members, and you can just reap the benefits (read: cake).
Erin Collins knows what’s up. As an almost-graduate, she knew the upcoming college-free months would be extremely lame. So, to fill her schedule, she decided to become a perpetual “wedding crasher” of sorts. She took to Twitter to post a “Plus One Resume” and it’s almost too perfect.
— Erin Collins (@misserincollins) April 14, 2015
Her qualifications include:
- B.A. in quoting Judd Apatow Movies.
- Minor in sneaking alcohol into venues.
- Dubbed “best hair” every single day of her life.
- Cha-Cha Slide enthusiast.
- Not ashamed to sneak road snacks into purse.
- And she earned the Spring Break 2015 Gold Medal for funneling a mimosa bong.
And as for that last one, trust us, we did our research.
— Erin Collins (@misserincollins) April 15, 2015
I’m pretty sure she deserves another medal for being a complete genius and teaching us the ways of the plus one. Thankfully, Erin was able to remind us of something extremely important: formals are for finding play things; weddings are for finding the real thing. Time to tweak your resumes, ladies. Erin really upped the intensity..