If this isn’t a legitimate reason not to watch Smurfs 2, then I don’t know what to tell you.
James Terry of California rented Smurfs 2 from his local Redbox machine to enjoy on his boat in peaceful solitude. Only when he began to watch it, he found that the DVD contained no Smurfette and gang, but rather real people really gettin’ it on.
“I saw girls in bikinis at first, and I was like, what am I watching?” Rocklin resident James Terry told KCRA. “And then it became more and more disturbing, with hardcore porn.”
After notifying Redbox, Terry was given a $2 voucher and 10 free movie rentals, but that wasn’t enough. Terry wanted to make sure that these porn-dubbed movies wouldn’t get into the hands of children.
“I said, ‘What are you guys doing to protect children?’ [Redbox] said, ‘We’re working on a program next year that won’t allow people to make photocopies of the bar codes anymore,'”
Oh, he’s doing it for the kids. Because a guy who rents Smurfs 2 to watch on his boat, alone, seems like a great candidate to speak for children.
*cough* freak *cough*
Anyway, the movie’s tagline of “Nice Gets Naughty” just makes this story even funnier. Apparently the movie’s conflict involves a group of “fake smurfs” called the “Naughties” fighting the real smurfs. I’d like to think the person who put the porn on that DVD chose Smurfs 2 for that reason. It has been noticed and very much appreciated, anonymous porn producer-in-the-making. Thank you.
The real red flag in my mind is that the guy is legitimately upset he didn’t watch Smurfs 2. The guy’s alone on his boat, and porn comes on instead of a kids’ movie, and he’s upset?! I feel like that would be an early Christmas gift for him. Santa’s curing blue balls by giving out porn disguised as Smurfs 2. Fa-la-la-la
The moral of the story: make sure to check your DVD before you watch it around children…or your parents. Or just don’t watch Smurfs 2.
[via Huffington Post]
Image via Agent Bedhead
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
