One of the reasons Starbucks is so flipping’ great is because of its wide variety of choices. There’s a house blend for your Monday morning, a caramel frappe when you want to indulge, and a venti iced tea for your hangover.
One adventurous lady decided to try her luck and test what would happen when she ordered an “Ariana Grande.” Like all great trolls, she was expecting an awkward pause and a shitload of confusion. But, lo and behold, Starbucks pulled through for yet another white girl. The cashier yelled to the barista, who then tested her creative skills and came up with what she thought an Ariana Grande-inspired drink would taste like.
To be honest, I don’t like Ariana Grande. I think she tries too hard to be sweet and sexy at the same time, and her miniskirts and thigh-high boots make her look like a prostitot. I also have a problem with the fact that she only allows herself to be photographed from one side, which has convinced me that she is sporting an unusual growth or lazy eye on the other half of her face.
This is why I was especially thrilled to hear that an “Ariana Grande” is pretty much an over-the-top sugary mess with extra everything. The recipe reportedly included a cotton candy frappuccino base, extra mocha syrup, extra mocha chips, extra whipped cream, and a generous amount of caramel drizzle. So basically, more than half of your daily caloric intake and probably a huge sugar rush, ending in a stomach ache worse than your Sunday morning hangover. Ironically gluttonous, especially considering the fact that Ariana is a vegan.
Maybe I’m just bitter towards the pop singer because if they were to make a drink resembling me, it would be a plain coffee, as black as my bitter, peasant soul. Regardless, I’m going to test my luck and order a Nick Jonas next time I visit the ‘Bucks, and you can be damn sure that my expectations are high. .
Image via BuzzFeed