Stop Crying Rape

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As a woman, I’ve been taught to love myself, to respect myself, to stand up for myself. I’ve been taught to be free-thinking, to stand firm in my beliefs, to hold my own. Independence has been ingrained in me. So has free will. I was told that I could be anything I wanted when I grew up and I believed it. Barbie showed me that I could be a mommy, a veterinarian, and, someday, maybe even president. The Spice Girls sang of girl power and Margaret Thatcher proved that it really did exist. I was invincible, unstoppable, and uninhibited…and then I got to college.

You see, a weird thing happened at the pre-games and the bars and the frat parties. Girls could go and check their inhibitions at the door, responsibility at the coat check, and self-awareness at the bar. We could drink to our heart’s content, be stupid, be dumb, dance up on bars, kiss a stranger, go home with a different one, and then wake up and not have to take ownership for any of it. The flyers on our hallway bulletin boards piled up. Seminars commenced. PSAs were abound. “My rapist doesn’t know he’s a rapist,” they all told us. And we believed it.

So we went to the pre-games and we went to the bars and we went to the frat parties. We did drink to our heart’s content and we made bad decisions. We did go home with strangers. And then we woke up and we decided that we didn’t like what we had done. We regretted it. We didn’t like that we had willingly taken eleven shots of cheap vodka at the pre-game with “our girls.” We didn’t like that we had arrived at the bar and purchased our own double vodka cranberries. We didn’t like that we had accepted a shot from our best friend and then another from our biology lab partner. We didn’t like that we had drunkenly danced on the counter and we were embarrassed that a bar full of strangers had likely seen our panties. We didn’t like that we were blacked out, and we most certainly did not like that we had stumbled back to campus after last call to attend a party. We didn’t like that we had fallen down the stairs at a fraternity house, and we didn’t like that we had bullied a brother into giving us vodka, because we “don’t drink beer.” We didn’t like that we had wandered into the bed of someone who was even more intoxicated than we were, and we didn’t like the fact that we woke up wearing nothing but a dirty rush t-shirt. And so we freaked out.

Faced with our poor decisions of the night before, we had no excuse but to take them all back. After all, that’s what all of the flyers and the seminars and the PSAs said. That’s what our professors told us, as did the nurses at Student Health. That’s what the protestors wearing the skimpy outfits and holding the glittery posters said. “It’s not your fault,” they all told us. Yes, you were drunk. And yes, you flirted with him. And yes, you initiated the first makeout…and the second one. Yes, you whispered, “Let’s get out of here.” But you felt guilty this morning. And so you take it all back. No matter that he was drunk, too, and you were a willing participant — you take it back. And in the game of your word against his, you will always win.

Legally speaking, those who are incapacitated cannot consent to sex. But what is incapacitated? Is it a certain BAC? A slurred word? Perhaps a drunken stumble or a sloppy text? If incapacitation is the end all, be all, then why don’t we have police officers standing outside of bars? Girls exit on one side, boys on the other. Keep your hands to yourselves and where I can see them. No more one-night stands, no more walks of shame. So what is it? What’s the line that can’t be crossed? And what about the boys? What if they’re drunk, too?

We’ve created a culture where it is completely acceptable for girls to get drunk, make bad decisions, and then take it all back. There is no ownership, no responsibility, no acceptance of one’s own mistakes. And for what? So we can feel better about our actions? So we can feel better about our “numbers” which don’t mean anything, anyway? So we can feel better about the poor choices, the stupid decisions, the regrets, the “I shouldn’t haves,” the errors, the misjudgments, the shots, the kisses, and the sex? I just…I don’t understand.

This culture that we now live in, this societal acceptance of regret and unaccountability — it’s wrong. We’re creating a mockery of the real victims of sexual assault, the ones who are violently attacked. The ones who didn’t willingly take the shot, drink the drink, and climb into bed. We’re discouraging them from stepping forward. We’re preventing police officers from taking them seriously and district attorneys from pressing charges. We’re creating a world where all females are victims and all men are attackers — and that is simply not the case. Perhaps there is a gray area. Maybe something does, in fact, exist between the spectrum of rape and a consensual one-night-stand. But that doesn’t mean that every drunken hookup is the result of a violent attack. That doesn’t mean that women can go into a situation knowing good and well what will happen, and then take it back when the sun comes up. It simply doesn’t work like that. Something has got to give.

We’re supposed to be living in a world where women can be anything they want to be. Isn’t that what we were taught? That we’re strong and independent and able-bodied? That we can be the mommy, the veterinarian, and maybe even the president? That we can not only preach girl power, but live it, too? That we don’t have to be ashamed of our sexuality or forced to hide it? That we can play with the big boys and act like them, too? So why are we running from it? Why are we going out and making stupid decisions and then acting like we are in no way responsible for ourselves? That’s not how it works. We don’t get to arbitrarily take things back. We don’t get to be stupid and then blameless. We don’t get to be held unaccountable for our actions. Doing so sets us back. Doing so makes us weak and it makes us powerless. It’s time that we stop playing the blame game. It’s time that we start taking responsibility for our own actions — no matter how bad they may be.

Image via flickr

***

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Nice Move

From Rush to Rehab

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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  1. 326
    Mr President 2036

    Thanks the lord for a sensible article from a woman on the subject. Can’t wait for the pending shit storm from the feminists, “You just set women back 50 years!”. If I saw you at a bar I’d buy you a drink, maybe even 11 drinks.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 145
      jemappelleamy

      I am a feminist, and I agree with the basic point this article is making: Regretting a decision to have sex does not mean it was rape. That’s true, it doesn’t. I think the real problem is that people don’t understand what real consent is. So I wanted to share two personal experiences. One I believe was rape, the other I believe was a bad decision that I regretted but definitely not rape.
      1) I was flirty texting (NOT sexting) a guy over summer break. I wanted to pursue a potential relationship with him. I was honest with him and had several conversations with him about how even though I’ve had sex before (consensual sex), I didn’t want to have sex with anyone until I’d been in a committed relationship with a person for at least a few months because I respect myself and my body. The first weekend we’re back on campus, we go out, get drunk, and I go home with him with the intention of just cuddling with the guy I’d flirted with all summer and then falling asleep next to him. He was my friend, and he knew I didn’t want to have sex, so I thought I had nothing to worry about. He ripped off my panties and started raping me. I told him to stop. I pushed him off me. I ran out the front door. He ran after me, handed me $20 and told me to go buy the morning after pill. It wasn’t until that moment I realized he hadn’t used any protection when he violated me. So yes, I drank too much, and yes, I flirted with him. But he KNEW I didn’t want to have sex and he completely disregarded my personal boundaries when it comes to sex. This was NOT simply me getting wasted, regretting having sex and then calling it rape. This actually was rape.
      2) I got drunk one night, and a boy who I was not remotely interested in or even attracted to was nice enough to walk me home. I was drunk and horny. One thing led to another, and I ended up having sex with him even though it went against my own personal rule of not having sex with anyone I’m not in a longterm relationship with. However, I would never, ever accuse this boy of rape. It was consensual. Of course I regretted it the next day, but I knew what I was doing. I had been the one to seduce HIM, not the other way around. I agree that it is completely and totally wrong for girls who have had this same scenario happen to them to say it was rape when really it was just a regret.
      I have a big problem with this article because it implies that any girls who have experienced situations similar to the first experience I shared are lying when they say they’ve been raped. The author of this article has absolutely no business invalidating someone else’s traumatic experience. Maybe it’s true that some girls need to learn the difference between what actually constitutes being sexually violated and just making bad decisions while drunk. But each situation is different. Regretting consensual drunk decisions isn’t rape. But waking up feeling like you were completely violated and taken advantage of because you had a little too much to drink IS rape. Yes, women need to be held accountable for their actions. But it should not be the woman’s responsibility not to get raped. It’s the man’s responsibility not to take off a girl’s underwear when she has already expressed to him that she does not want to have sex. Me being raped was not MY fault because I drank too much. It was HIS fault because he disrespected my personal beliefs.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
      • 12
        gobylo

        @jemmappelleamy: “But waking up feeling like you were completely violated and taken advantage of because you had a little too much to drink IS rape.” The problem is that’s how many women feel after regretting a drunken hookup.

        ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
      • 7
        LostInTranslation

        @jean valjean you are the one who is sick. Her actions to show she didn’t want sex was to say no. Do you want a pat on the back because you managed not to rape a girl after she turned you on? Well done, you managed to beat your animal instinct to reproduce. Shame you haven’t evolved beyond that.

        ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
      • -50
        jean valjean

        So let’s recap here.

        You engaged in sexual banter with a guy for months. Went out drinking with him and went home with him and got undressed, got in bed with him and you claim he raped you because previously you had stated you didn’t want to have sex?

        Oh wait, you say you told him to “stop” after he ripped off your panties. How did all your other clothes get taken off? Also, I didn’t hear anything about how he held you down? Did he hit you to subdue you? How did he spread your legs apart? What kind of injuries did you sustain during this violent attack?

        What is it about any of your actions that says you don’t want to have sex? What you did was like telling your kid he can’t have McDonald’s and then going into McDonald’s with him, buying a Happy Meal, sitting down at a table with him, unpacking the meal in front of him and then screaming, “I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MCDONALD’S,” when he tries to eat the hamburger.

        He violated your personal boundaries about sex? You don’t have any personal boundaries about sex. What you have is a lot of mixed messages. You’re completely all over the place about sex.

        I went out with a girl like you once. Five minutes into the date she says, “Look! I’m wearing french cut panties.” And she was. At the end of the date she doesn’t want me to take her home so we park and she gets naked and is hovering over me and I go to open a condom and she says she doesn’t want to have sex. All I had to do was gently pull her hips down on me and I’d be inside her. That’s how close I was to “raping” her. Instead, I got out of the car, put my pants on and cooled off and then took her home.

        You have no idea what kind of mindf#ck you’ve done to a guy to keep teasing him sexually for months and then to get naked with him and then say no. He shouldn’t have had sex with you. He should have called you a C U Next Tuesday and kicked you out of his apartment.

        And to top if all off, after all you’ve done to create this situation, after all the mixed signals which makes a man think you say “no” when you mean “yes,” you think this guy should end up in prison for decades and be on a sexual predator watch list for the rest of his life?

        You are sick.

        ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
        • 31
          aur

          Because anyone, man or woman, should have the right to say no when there is a line that they do not want to cross. I’ve been in situations many times where I have been hooking up with a guy and doing everything up to sex, and I 100% expect him to respect my personal boundary of not having sex with him as a casual hookup. If I clearly say no, I am not going to do that, and he goes ahead and does it anyway, then that is rape. Just because I’ve gone down on him or we’re both mostly naked or whatever is no excuse. Wanting to do one thing is not wanting to do another. If a guy told me no in a similar situation, then it’s the exact same. As a decent human being, I’d respect him and not do anything he was not comfortable doing.

          Of course, the lines get blurred when both partners are drunk and consent is clearly given. But even if both are drunk, if one says no, then that means no.

          ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
        • 16
          Chicago FratHawks

          jean valjean, that is the stupidest shit I have ever heard. While yes she lead the guy on a little bit, if she says no and you go for it anyway then its rape. The story of you with a girl in your car sounds pretty made up. Not to mention that would be an accident. The girl seemed pretty reasonable in her comment. I think the article is saying not to claim rape after a drunk hook up. You’ll get a dui if you are drunk and drive, you wouldnt be able to get a dui if you are passed out or cant even walk to the car, if some one is forcing you to drive with a gun to your head you wont get a dui either. same shit.

          ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
        • 13
          rin615

          Everyone has the right to say no. I have had a close friend that I have been flirty with for quite a while. I have let him sleep in my bed when we have both been drunk on more the one occasion but he has respected me and when I turned him down he didn’t try anything. I have had sex with him since then but it has been clear that I wanted to. Whilst this did put me at risk because he is stronger than me and if he wanted to the was nothing I could have done to stop him from raping me but I felt that he wouldn’t cross the boundaries that I set.

          I have had a situation where I invited a guy back but neither of us had a condom. He tried to coerce me into having sex with him anyway and started to get aggressive when I told him no. I ended up telling him I was going to call my housemates to get then to make him leave and he reluctantly left. Just because I had full intentions of having sex with him in the first place doesn’t mean that I can’t change my mind especially if there is a change of circumstances as to what I thought would happen. After this happened I made sure that I was more responsible for this situation and got myself condoms and proper birth control to avoid this happening again however.

          ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
        • 0
          ModernSpartan

          if you are a guy, you embarass me on behalf of my gender

          if you are a girl, i would date you for 3 years just to leave your ass at the alter after you financed my grad and law school the entire time

          ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 27
      Mr President 2036

      I think the author would agree with you in terms of your two very different examples. At no point does the author say anything even remotely close to saying the first case isn’t rape and should not be reported. I tend to believe she was taking aim at the cases similar to your second story. Maybe I’m naive, but I find it hard to believe there are tons of people out there, enough to create a so called rape culture, that would look at the first case you presented and say that’s okay.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 14
      KingComfort

      @Ole_Frat, you’re a tool, and you’re the reason articles like this are damaging. There should be no sentence ever created that says “The rape wasn’t your fault, buttttt…………” BUT WHAT? Lucky you haven’t been violated or raped in the a*ss last time you were incoherent. She did say no you idiot, if you read her story you would know, because she expressed that not only did she say no beforehand, she also said no during and had to RUN out. But why would you pay attention to anything she said? You didn’t listen to a word she said, because you have no respect for anyone who faces problems that you aren’t familiar with. You are ignorant and just another d-bag giving fraternities a horrible name, with people thinking we are all like you.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 12
      KingComfort

      HouseChef_TFM you are such a p.o.s. human being. Not only was I not talking to you, I also wasn’t responding to the “article” that I unfortunately read. I was responding to an individual comment. And she was NOT too drunk to do anything, that is why she told him to stop and ran out. You are a pig for “defending” someone who is degrading a victim of rape. Since when is alcohol consumption an excuse to violate another human being? Maybe some guy will jack you off and shove a toy up your a** next time you’re incoherent, and you will truly understand what it would be like to have that humanity stripped from you.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 10
      TCTF

      “we can play with the big boys and act like them, too”
      This is a fine column, and it deserves a better fitting title. There’s something off with “Stop Crying Rape”

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -16
      HouseChef_TFM

      ^ @King Comfort. If YOU read the article, the beforehand no wasn’t before he pulled her pants off, it was several months before in the beginning of summer. I agree she was raped absolutely, but in Ole Frat’s defense, he was pointing out that there was a time in between them laying in bed and him pulling her pants off. Most likely, she was too drunk to assess the entire situation and was not straight enough to say no and stand her ground. When she finally came to that’s when she said no and ran out. Learn how to read before you go raging on other people. Fuck you.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -21
      Ole_Frat

      ^^^ You are right, it wasn’t your fault you were raped, but you could control how much you were drinking.

      Not trying to say your being sexually violated is null, but I just find it funny how both of your situations include you drunk off your ass. Rape is a bad thing and guys should respect women who say no, but at the same time, you need to also keep yourself straight so you can say no. You can control how much you drink. If you aren’t comfortable sleeping with the guy why would you feel comfortable getting sloshed with him?

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
  2. 189
    Whiskey_the_third

    There was an instance at our school of a girl accusing a fraternity member of rape. Despite the fact that all his brothers and even some other girls assured the investigators that it wasn’t forced or even non-consensual.

    Police and School administration got involved. He was accused, suspended, he deactivated from his fraternity, was smeared on social media and shamed. It was then that this girl realized she was over her head. She admitted that she knew what she was doing, made poor judgement, and used it as an excuse for a hookup she was being teased about. She admitted she lied, made parts up, and things had spiraled out of her control.

    If anyone has set women back 50 years, it’s someone like this, who gives pause to those legitimate victims who are two afraid to come forward.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 5
      KingComfort

      You’ve taken one instance and acted as though it is the norm. Rape is underreported that it’s not even funny, and it’s because of articles like this that put women and men in fear of reporting it.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 4
      Big_Pappa_Lassi

      ^^KingComfort, did you even read the end of his comment? The part where he talks about legitimate rape victims being too afraid to come forward? Pull your head out of your ass you shit. People like you are the reason some young men’s lives are ruined by women who regretted the choices they made the night before and were too scared to take accountability for it.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 1
      Nicholas Frattington

      KingComfort your comments are pissing me off. Obviously legitimate rape happens. It often goes unreported, and it is a terrible thing. NO ONE is disagreeing with you about that. This article is about girls who make bad decisions, and then blaming it on the guy because she’s embarrassed or regrets sleeping with him. Just wait until this happens to one of your brothers and then we’ll see how you feel about it. I know a guy who spent a night in jail and had to deal with so much bullshit because a girl filed a rape charge against him, when everyone, (including the girl), knew that she wasn’t raped. Please just shut the fuck up.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -16
      Ole_Frat

      KingComfort, it is pretty normal. Thus the article. It happened to one of my brothers, but luckily the Administration saw the err of its ways afterwards and reconciled with him.

      The girl had apparently cried wolf in regards to four other guys in other chapters on campus. Its a bullshit situation because in regards to he said she said, its usually the lady who gets the benefit of the doubt and the guy is fucked.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -19
      Whiskey_the_third

      King comfort, what you seem to be missing is the biggest issue of all. You’re correct, LEGITIMATE rape is drastically underreported. And you claim it’s because of article like this, that makes legitimate victims afraid to come forward.

      But what was this article written in response to? What was my comment directed at? It was to those slimy humans who would de-legitimize rape instances and put someone else’s college future at risk in order to protect their own self image.

      So in a way, we agree. Except for that you are putting the blame on article like this for making real victims afraid to come forward, while I am putting the blame on fraudulent cases that cause articles like this to be written. Therefore both contribute to an unspeakable amount of women who are truly afraid to come forward, and disgusting criminals who never face justice despite knowing EXACTLY what they were doing.

      Hope this settles this.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -20
      SouthernFrat1851

      ^You’ve taken one comment to a post and acted as if you know your vagina from your asshole. You know what else isn’t funny? you. Go back to your feminazi rallies and make me a sandwich while you’re at it.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
      • 9
        sbraballeb11300

        I’m really pissed off about all the “feminists are awful” comments on this. Is wanting to be treated equally so wrong? We are not less than you just because we were born with a vagina instead of a penis, just like non-whites aren’t inferior to whites simply because their skin color is different. We are still humans. We deserve the same respect and opportunities as men. Sexism against women is still extremely active in society today, and vice versa. Honestly, if everyone would just stop bashing others for things they can’t control, like their skin color, or the gender, or even a permanent gene disorder, the world would be a better place. So, I see your sexism and raise you a “Fuck you. I’m a woman and proud.”

        ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
      • 4
        sbraballeb11300

        You, sir, obviously don’t know the difference between a feminazi and a feminist. Supporters of the FEMEN group are feminazis. We are feminists. Get your facts straight before you start spilling your sexist, ignorant comments all over the place, okay? Whisky_the_third is right and obviously an intelligent human being on this topic. The whole thing about feminism is gaining equal respect for females. If you want a sandwich, go make your own. I, and any other self-respecting woman, certainly will not make it for you.

        ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
  3. 138
    kappakaapakray

    The practice of “crying rape” is incredibly dangerous to women. It makes it so that institutions don’t take real victims of rape and sexual assault seriously, and makes women who have been attacked afraid to come forward because they fear being ostracized. It delegitimizes the voices of victims everywhere, and that is unforgivable. Any survivor will tell you that a person who lies about such a traumatic and painful event is a despicable human being.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 13
      JohnFratYatesSommers

      KingComfort, this article is not about silencing reports of rape. It is about women being accountable for their actions. You cannot simply go into a bar, drink with wild abandon, black out, make horrible decisions, and then be exempt from the consequences. If you black out and then get behind the wheel of a car, are you exempt from the DUI when you get pulled over because you weren’t in your right mind and couldn’t “decide” whether or not to drive the car? Fuck no.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 6
      KingComfort

      The “context” of your comment Jon, is that it is posted on an article about silencing reports of rape…. And it’s interesting that you “included” me in your “liberal-voting, government handout-demanding” group, because that could not be any further from the truth. Wanting humans to be treated with respect, and not be violated has nothing to do with food stamps. I have sisters and I don’t want them growing up in a world of victim blamers. That includes you.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 4
      KingComfort

      Not sure what you mean by “entitled”, but I think everyone is entitled to their own body, and entitled to not having it violated. That includes you.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -2
      poop on my chest

      ^ to expand on your point, if a woman is blacked out and raped: that is a rape and the SOB should rot in jail. But if i go out drinking and meet a girl and she invites me back to her place to fuck and then wakes up in the moring and says “we had drunk sex im calling the cops” FUCK THAT. the laws, as written (at least in my state) say that a woman cannot give consent if shes drunk. so basically if my gf and I have a few drinks im a rapist. Thanks feminsim, you fucking idiots dont realize your actions are counter-productive GO AFTER REAL RAPISTS.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -6
      KingComfort

      Calling someone a troll because what they are saying actually makes sense? No use trying to convince your pee brain that you don’t have to take advantage of women to get somewhere with them.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -9
      poop on my chest

      ^ are women so weak that they cant make any decisions for themselves and regret it? men are just so much stronger than anytime a woman gives consent after 2 bud lights HE RAPED HER—this is what feminists say. if i go out and fuck an ugly girl i cant cry rape even if i was shitfaced and she was sober—but a woman can basically cry rape whenever, because…shes so weak? i dont understand this. Rape is a disgusting crime but should not include consensual kinda drunk sex

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -10
      Jon M Fratsman

      Ah, I see the first wave of shock troops has already arrived. Your obvious failure to read my comment in context should have revealed that the word “entitlement” was clearly attached to the word “generation”, as in, “I think that the majority of liberal-voting, government handout-demanding individuals that frequent Jezebel are members of the entitlement generation”.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -20
      I am drot nunk

      ^Fucking this. If a woman doesn’t want a man hitting on her, then she has every right to not drink, not dress provocative, and certainly not flirt. Flirting and dressing like a slut gives the impression to a man that you want to hook up. It isn’t culture, it’s biology, something feminists can’t grasp. If a woman then proceeds to hookup with said man and then get dumped immediately after, she has every fucking right to, even if said man is a sleazy asshole. But guess what? It’s not anyone’s fault but hers because she made that choice.

      I bet you feminists aren’t even aware that there are actually women in the world fighting for real rights, like the right to vote, freely marry, speak in public, and show their faces. No one is setting women back 50 years except for feminists, and every non-feminist I’ve talked to has agreed. You’re ruining it for your own gender.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
  4. 64
    imBatman

    “Oh my God, I so regret getting drunk and slutty last night. I’m going to make this kid pay for my mistakes by getting him sent to prison.”

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 10
      KingComfort

      Actually rape is one of the MOST unreported crimes in our nation. You’re acting as though men get wrongfully sent to jail left and right, when in actually more men never get punished at all. Rape is so underreported that I’m not sure why anyone would ever right an article encouraging women to stop reporting rape, when in fact that is already an issue in itself.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 8
      diamonds_pearls1902

      Falsely reporting rape is one of the reasons that real rape victims don’t come forward. They are scared of the repercussions and are scared they will be blamed. Too many rape cases are not taken seriously, and if there were less falsely reported cases, maybe that could change.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 5
      diamonds_pearls1902

      She’s not in any way encouraging women to not report rape. What this article is saying is women need to step up and take responsibility for their own actions too. When a girl willingly gets wasted and knowingly goes home with a guy, she is putting herself in that situation. This article talks about the times when girls drink by their own free will and put themselves in situations that could be potentially dangerous. So no, this article does not encourage women to stop reporting rape. Instead it encourages women to stop FALSELY reporting rape to avoid dealing with the consequences of their actions.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 3
      kappakaapakray

      ^This. One of the first thoughts going through a victim’s mind is, “Will anyone believe me?” False accusations make it harder for people to get justice against actual attackers.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • 2
      Mr President 2036

      You’re absolutely correct a majority of sexual assaults do go unreported is an issue. But the point of the article is the somewhat distorted view women have towards rape. Like the author says, if I get drunk with some young (or old) lady and have sex at the end of the night, that’s not rape. But there are plenty of women who wake up the next morning and claim just that, simply because of regret. There’s a huge difference between someone forcing themselves on another person and a hook-up mistake.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -2
      frat1990

      ^ Try reading next time. The article was much more about taking accountability for one’s mistakes and not just crying something that isn’t true. Do women get violently raped and not report it? Of course, just like people get robbed or assaulted and don’t report it for whatever reason.

      I know girls who have gotten back into bed with guys the next morning to cuddle or go for round 2 sober, then cry rape later that night or in the following days. Talk about a bullshit way to remove your own guilt.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
    • -6
      KingComfort

      First of all it was a typo you dumbass @Matt. And who the HELL said anything about hating men? If wanting to live in a world where the rapist is blamed and not the victim is “trolling”, than I don’t want to know how tiny your brain or your cock is.

      ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
  5. 49
    FratstarsnStripes

    Good thing this is a TSM Column and not a TFM Column.

    I did police dispatch for a while at my university and did work with 5 sexual assault cases. 3 of them ended up being false-reports. The women got arrested in the three false-report cases.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago
  6. 35
    TrickleDown

    This is really well-written. You did an incredible job. I’d make some snide remark about feminists but you’re speaking on a serious subject so I won’t bother this time. If TSM posted more stuff like this I would have no reservations reading it too.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 6 months ago

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