Stop Letting The Internet Offend You, Idiots


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Alright, kiddos. A depressingly ironic shitstorm has been brewing ‘round these parts, and I just have to get something off my chest. So strap on your seatbelts and crack open a fresh beer, because you are all about to get taught some serious shit.

If you are offended by something on the internet, you are most likely the problem. If your inability to ignore “offensive” content is clogging up your friends’ newsfeeds with self-righteous rants, you really, really need to calm down. Because the internet is just the internet, and the fact that you’re choosing to type essay-style responses to articles that violate your sense of dignity instead of focusing your attention on real life issues is both sad and laughable at the same time.

I was ecstatic when people eventually started mocking this generation for being so easily offended, and I had high hopes that this would shut down the idea that people and organizations should be chastised for violating politically correct notions. But alas, here we are, bitching about things that hurt our feelings, ignoring the fact that there is a painfully obvious solution for pretty much every “offensive” piece of content out there.

This PC bullshit culture is what’s wrong with everything, ever. The idea that you should silence dissenting opinions and ideas because they violate your personal sense of propriety is horseshit. The second society shuts down the ability to hear ideas we don’t want to hear is the same second we decide we no longer want to move forward. Listening to each other’s new and sometimes crazy oppositional ideas is the only way that we occasionally realize, “Hm, shit could be better around here if we tried a different approach.”

The worst part about people who get offended by stuff easily is that half the time, they’re angry because they think the material in question will make other people buy into stereotypes. What blows my mind is that these people who post rants about how something is “absolutely disgusting” and “shouldn’t be allowed” think they deserve a medal for doing so. Like oh, aren’t you just a fucking saint? How big of you to protect all the easily manipulated and hopelessly innocent people who accidentally stumbled upon the internet with not a fucking clue how to develop their own opinions and thoughts. Thank God we have you to remind us of your incredibly virtuous values that should absolutely be applied to all of society, just because you say so.

Here’s a general rule of thumb: worry about yourself. You’re not a good person for speaking out against something that you think is misleading or inappropriate for other people to see. Did it occur you to that some people have different interests than you do? Did you ever consider that maybe everyone isn’t as much of a pussy as you are? Are you aware that a lot of people were born with this crazy thing called a sense of humor?

If not, you need a reality check. Contrary to the narcissism that Snapchat and Instagram and pretty much every other millennial trend encourages, you are not the only person in existence. Your ideals might not apply to the rest of the population, and if it offends you to hear that, you should probably toughen the fuck up. Or don’t. Just don’t present your friends with a tirade every time you feel the need to justify your own hurt feelings.

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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