Study Shows That Girls Hate Sluts, Statistically

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In a recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Cornell University researchers found that women prefer women with a lower number of sex partners for their friendships.

Participants in the study were read a vignette about a fictional character, then asked to rate them on ten friendship attributes. Every participant heard the exact same story, the only difference being the character’s number of sex partners. Some people were told the character had slept with two people, and others were told she had slept with twenty. On nine out of the ten attributes, the woman with the lower number was viewed more positively. The tenth characteristic measured was “outgoingness,” and participants agreed that the chaste girl was boring as fuck, but other than that, everyone seemed to say that they’d rather be friends with the prude.

I find this to be totally bogus. I hate being around holier-than-thou, sandpaper-where-their-vaginas-should-be good girls. I don’t care whether they choose to hook up or not, I just get annoyed when people feel they need to stop other people from having fun. Besides, everyone knows the slutty friend is infinitely valuable. Shes the one who will tell you it wasn’t really a big deal after a regrettably sloppy makeout, the one who teaches you her tricks of the boudoir (which you’d be nowhere without), and the one who inadvertently makes you seem like girlfriend material when you meet new guys. Plus, she’s hilarious. She’s an absolute asset to any group of girlfriends and I can’t wrap my mind around how this phenomenon is true.

Surely, it’s only the sexually modest girls who feel this way, though. The girls in the slutty sorority seems perfectly content with their slutty friends. In fact, their standards board is just for show! Statistically, however, not true. The research suggests that regardless of a woman’s own promiscuity, she still doesn’t want slutty friends. Zhana Vrangalova, the author of the study says that many women with a high number of sex partners are “seeking to distance themselves from any stigma that is attached to being friends with such women.” That, or they just want all the attention, Vranny.

I am weirdly non-judgmental about people’s sex lives and number of partners, mainly because I feel like it doesn’t matter. I don’t care how many different flavors of ice cream my friend has tried and I don’t care how many guys she’s boinked, neither has an effect on our friendship. I have friends who are virgins, and friends who are…not, and I love them all the same. Unfortunately, we can’t all be me, so the lesson here ladies, is bang less or lie more.

[via MedicalXpress and CBS]

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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