Studying Abroad Turns You Into A Pretentious Asshole


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Studying abroad is said to be one of the most life-changing experiences of a person’s college career, and even life. Even the most level-headed of students embark on their journey of a lifetime with the money that they’ve saved over summer and the nervous sweats boiling up on their scalps.

They give their parents a tentative smile and wave as they board a plane with all of their belongings and have no idea what the fuck they are doing. They talk to the few acquaintances around them to try to calm their nerves, but it’s like the blind leading the blind. Everyone is shitting their pants which makes the other people around them shit their pants even more and it just ends up being a really long, really smelly plane ride.

But as soon as they step foot into their first AirBnB with a fistful of Euros and their most obnoxious American outfits, something switches in their brain. It’s as if our entitled culture carries overseas with them and they believe now that they are citizens of that country. Stupid Americans just wouldn’t understand what it’s like to navigate a city without knowing the language. Yes, they do not know it either and end up over-enunciating English as if the cab driver will suddenly understand it because it is slower. But in their minds, at least they tried. The sorority girls will visit the most beautiful places and taking a picture throwing what they know as if to say, “wish my sisters were here, but they’re not so suck it.”

In a recent study done by myself, statistics showed that 100% of people who come back from a semester abroad say the most pretentious shit you have ever heard in your life. When they return from earning their six credits of snobbery, they lean on you to help them readjust to our simple American way of life while informing you of what an uncultured plebeians we are every step of the way.

The following are actual quotes from the study:

  1. “I miss the bougie life. Wait, do you guys even know what bougie means?”
  2. “The wine in Bordeaux is to DIE for.”
  3. “I forgot you guys tip here, it’s so weird.”
  4. “If I can make it through London without an umbrella I can make it through anything.”
  5. “It’s so hard going back to American beer.”
  6. “I really only went skydiving in the Swiss alps for a good Insta pic.”
  7. “I don’t even go to tea anymore. I feel like a peasant.”
  8. “Oh my god I love this song! I heard it in Ibiza while I watched strippers set their boobs on fire.”
  9. “I guess I’m going to have to get used to not having bottle service anymore.”
  10. “I was so busy exploring new places that I didn’t even check social media and it made me realize how pointless and trivial it all is.”
  11. “I don’t know why I just felt safer in Denmark.”
  12. “Oh my god I forgot what it’s like to take real accents.”
  13. “Wow, Americans are so gluttonous. Look at the size of these portions!”
  14. “Now that I’m back in The States…”
  15. “I hate your American accents.”

So if you or someone you love is planning to study abroad, make sure you fully inform them of the repercussions it might have. You could be saving them from themselves.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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