Someone broke up with Tay. How unusual.
Just three days after the release of her latest chart topping album, Taylor Swift has announced her split from boyfriend of three months, the high school senior Conor Kennedy.
Sources speculate that distance did NOT make the heart grow fonder for these two – Swift has been busy for the past month promoting her new album “A Tribute to Every Guy That’s Ever Gotten to Know Me and Realized How Awful I Am, 4.0” aka “Red,” and has barely made time to see Conor. While this sounds like a reasonable cause for a breakup, we all know it’s not true.
I think a few scenarios could have played out:
1) Conor actually listened to Swift’s new album, in which she mercilessly bashed her exes and professed her everlasting love for Conor in songs such as “Begin Again” and “Starlight” and “Everything has Changed.” I’m pretty sure Conor came around and realized T-Swift is a card-carrying member of the cray cray society (which I’m president of) and decided to get out while he still could, with what was left of his dignity intact.
2) He started freaking out because he realized she finally closed on the house near his grandmother’s in Hiyannis, and realized she is obviously a stage 5 clinger and INSANE…so he bailed.
3) Conor decided to go after some slutty girl from his high school who did not look like a rat and did not dress like a Kindergarten teacher.
Either way, it looks like we can be expecting another revenge album soon….