The WTF?
5. Kat Dennings
Image via Associated Press
The 2 Broke Girls star looked the part of a broke diner waitress in her periwinkle Vivienne Westwood strapless gown. The gown itself wasn’t too bad. It had a fairly tolerable patter, and it had structure. Kat’s look, however, had neither structure nor direction. Her choice of too-dark red lipstick and matching nail laquer drowned out her pale skin, and her strappy nude heels did not round out her look. Oh, also Kat may have made the dumbest mistake ever, by telling Giuliana Rancic her jewelry was “David Burman” instead of “David Yurman.” WTF Kat?
4. Florence Welch
Image via Associated Press
Good old Flo’ is no stranger to fashion mistakes. Her Alexander McQueen tiered, lace disaster of the 2012 Met Gala still haunts me. She made another huge mistake at the Grammys in custom Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy. Florence did make a good choice in wearing emerald green, as I think the color was actually a great hue for the pale, questionably soulless ginger. However, the spiky details of her gown made her look more like stegosaurus than a singer. I think she tries to be too avant garde in her fashion choices, and it almost always backfires on her.
3. Adele
Image via Associated Press
The new mom really outdid herself in Valentino. By outdid herself, I mean I didn’t think it was possible for her to look any more dowdy than she usually does, but she reaffirmed the suspicion I’m pretty sure every guy who’s inspired her albums had: she wasn’t really that much of a catch. I honestly think she down while shopping in Lane Bryant, and instead of reaching for something off the rack on her way up, she opted to roll herself in an area rug and head to the red carpet. I wonder if her grandmother is pissed that her curtains are missing.
2. Taylor Swift
Image via Associated Press
I know, I know, I already listed her red-carpet dress as bad, but her opening act definitely deserves a WTF. First of all, she looked like an absolute idiot in her white “ring leader” outfit for her circus-themed allegory performance of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Oh, Taylor, we get it, your love life is a circus and you’re trying to assert that you’re the one running the show, but you’re only fooling yourself. Everyone knows you’re about as in control of the revolving door your vagina’s become as Charlie Sheen is in control of his penis at a fetish convention. I also think she should refrain from wearing white, because it’s pretty obvious she’s anything but pure. To make matters worse – she sounds TERRIBLE live. WTF.
1. “Record of the Year”
Image via Associated Press
I am absolutely outraged that Call Me, Maybe didn’t win. I know Gotye was some sort of revolutionary hipster with Somebody That I Used To Know, but let’s face it: Call Me Maybe was the frat anthem of 2012. We rocked out to that song while we blacked out in basements, at the beach on spring break, and in between rounds of recruitment. We sang that song while we got ready, while we pregamed, and before we went to bed after a night at the bars. Every frat boy in America was sick of that song approximately 45 minutes after it came on the radio, but nobody gave a fuck, because it was that amazing. I can’t really trust the academy anymore, since clearly they’re judgment is invalid.
Oh, also, congrats to Whitney Houston. Sunday night marked a year of sobriety for her! Snap cup!
Nice Move186
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