TSM
1. The “Die-Hard” Brother
This is initially cute when he’s young and fresh out of the pledging womb. He wears his letters loud and proud, reps his fraternity colors whenever possible, and still has a touch of innocence before the inevitable transformation into fuckboy debauchery occurs.
Fuckboy Rating: 5/10
Yes, this “Die-Hard” brother is admirable at first, but when he becomes a washed up senior with a beer-belly and no future, no one cares how “delta delta till you die” he is or what damn colors he bleeds.
2.The Eskimo Brother
Sadly, each fraternity has that brother who’s found his way into all of your sorority sisters’ hearts (and pants) at one point or another. He’s probably already slept with most of your family line. Keep an eye on the youngest pledge class — they’re the most vulnerable to his tactics. Every girl has fallen for the “Eskimo” brother’s unwarranted charm before, and if not, beware.
Fuckboy Rating: 10/10
From one victim of the “Eskimo” brother to another, ladies, you know this fuckboy holds a perfect 10 for his outstanding lies and so-called smooth talk that work undeniably well in unison with her nightlong RedBull-Vodka binge.
3.The Flirty Brother Who Never Gets Laid
No matter the night, no matter the fraternity, there will always be that over-friendly brother, you wish would just stay friendly. The Flirty Brother comes in all shapes and sizes: some may be creepy, some overly nice, and some downright grimy. No one really wants to accept his invitation to date party, his Instagram posts are often screen shotted and mocked in our sorority group chat, and we all secretly wish he’d learn his place in the friend-zone and stop trying.
Fuckboy Rating: 3/10
The “Unwanted Flirty” brother isn’t all that engaged in the fuckboy lifestyle. They do, however, receive fuckboy points for their try-hard excuse for “game.”
4.The Try-Hard Brother
The Try-Hard Brother is by no means more frat than anyone else, but he likes to think he is. He walks around like he’s a direct descendant of one of the founding brothers, but if you go far enough back in his Facebook profile pictures, you’ll find pictures of him wearing skinny jeans. NF. The Try-Hard Brother wears short shorts even in December, lives in Sperrys, and wakes up with a beer in his hand.
Fuckboy Rating: 9/10
This brother invented the term fuckboy.
6.The “Follow My Fitness Page” Brother
Yes, we know you hit the gym, bro. Wow, did you pack cute protein-filled lunches in Tupperware containers for each day this week!? Awwww, and you’ve even provided us a personal page to track your fitness journey and post pictures of your progress!!! How cute….not.
Fuckboy Rating: 5/10
The “Follow My Fitness Page” brother can be sexy as hell, but at the end of the day you’re still awarded some fuckboy points for the body obsession.
7.The “Dad-Bod” Brother
Now, on the other spectrum of physical appearance, the beloved “Dad-Bod” brother, these brothers are by no means in shape, but not quite overweight either. Some may call the “Dad-Bod’ and incoming trend. Personally, I view the “Dad-Bod” brother type as teddy bears that use this so-called fad as an excuse to be an idle beer-guzzling frat boy.
Fuckboy Rating: 4/10
The “Dad-Bod” Brother is your classic frat boy who is all fun and (drinking) games. They’re almost always down for debauchery and mischief, often a sidekick to the “Eskimo” and “Drug Mule” brother, but an undeniable frat fuckboy nonetheless.
8.The “Lingerer” Brother
Each and every fraternity tends to have their lingerers; those beloved brothers who just cant seem to graduate. The “Lingerer” brother is often a 5th (or maybe even 6th) year brother who has yet to wrap up his degree and let go of his fratboy glory days. The “Lingerer” finds comfort in dirty frat houses, naïve pledges, and endless kegs.
Fuckboy Rating: 5/10
Sorry, even if you’re a cool lingerer, 5 automatic fuckboy points for living the frat boy lifestyle well beyond your time.
Why would a supposedly classy girl like you fall for any of these guys? Are spoiled, entitled, douchebags who get everything handed to them what’s fashionable these days? Or are you just a Karen on training wheels who has never been with a real man before?
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.